Just Medicate Already!

We decided to homeschool when I was still in the Marine Corps.  It was a common and logical conclusion for military people that move a lot and can't always control when the Marine in the family has time off.  I saw many that had block leave during the week of finals, for example.

Since then, with the advent of Common Core and anti-religion in schools, we are happy to keep our decision.  Recently, however, I have come to appreciate another reason: medication.  We have very high spirited kids - our daughter is currently in a phase of pretending to be animals (fossa to raccoon to who knows what next) and our son can't even sit still during a movie, he has to act it out as he watches it.  He's gotten better - mainly due to my wife and I no longer finding it amusing - but it is still there.

They are both very active and physical in their approaches to learning and experiencing the world around them.  As frustrating as it can be (especially for their teacher, my wife), there is nothing wrong with it.  Both are learning well and are very curious about the mysteries life has ahead of them.

I have overheard parents discussing their concerns about their kids and it scares me.  "My son can't focus on his homework, I think he might have an attention disorder or something."  The kid is 4 years old!  Why does he even have homework?  It's preposterous!  Or, "our kids have too much energy in the house, we need to get them on some meds to calm them down."  I always ask even though I know the answer, how much time do they spend outside?  The answer: never.

So, let me get this strait, you have a child that is bounding with energy and curiosity and you think there is something wrong with the kid because they have too much energy even though you never have them run outside to burn it off?  And it is the kid's fault?

Then look at our schools post the abomination of "No Child Left Behind" - we have longer kindergarten hours, fewer recesses, and less hands-on work.  Schools are dumping arts & music (lessons that require a physical interaction with learning) and replacing them with more books and tests.

Of course - that is a great solution for kids that just want to run around and play!  More time inside!  And, if the kid has a problem adjusting, just shoot him up with meds (him, as boys are at least twice as likely to be diagnosed as girls).  Just another zombie earning tax credits for the school and staying out of mom and dad's way as they pursue their dreams!  Mission accomplished.

We are getting to a point where individual selfishness from parents and schools are now leading to a terrifying epidemic that has increased 40% over just a matter of a couple of years.  In case you have lived in a time capsule for the past couple of decades, I'm talking about ADHD.

I looked up the actual diagnostics for it on the CDC site, here are some laughable quotes:

"Deciding if a child has ADHD is a several step process. There is no single test to diagnose ADHD, and many other problems".

In other words, no definitive test.  Or said again, it really depends on the opinion of the guy writing prescriptions because there is no way to prove him right or wrong.  But hey, it will shut the parents & teacher up and pad his bottom line, so why not?  The kid could use some downers anyway...

Here are some of the actual indicators that begin in ages of 3 - 6:

• Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities. 
• Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities. 
• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly. 
• Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (loses focus, gets sidetracked). 
• Often has trouble organizing activities. 
• Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework). 
• Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools). 
• Is often easily distracted. 
• Is often forgetful in daily activities. 

Really?  I think they just described childhood.  I mean, seriously?  You can tie any of those to ANY child - because, drum roll, they are childish behaviors!

Now, I am making my career as a consultant.  Companies pay us to do things for them as we are faster / better / cheaper than what they are at areas outside of their main business.  Sometimes, our clients have concerns - that is where I work.

Most times I find that expectations have not been accurately managed.  It is like when you go see a movie that had great advertisements but actually sucked.  You are even angrier as you feel you were cheated.  If you had known what the movie actually was like, you may still have watched it - maybe even enjoyed it, but the difference would be in what you had expected it to be.

Now, we look today at family life.  We live in the world of me, myself and I.  Add this to the fact that kids are inconvenient.  If there was anything I wish upcoming parents knew, it would be that.  They require sacrifice, they require you to alter plans and miss out on some things in life.  And no, they won't appreciate it until they are much older, if ever (many of my family and friends - including myself - didn't until we became parents).

Sounds like a miss-match in expectations from the "me generation" more than anything else.  As we ask government to dictate what success is (standardized tests) and tell people that you can and should have it all: both ways, all the time - what could go wrong?  I mean, mom's can work better at men (per failed feminist logic) so why not have both parents out finding new toys they can finance on their expansive incomes?

Then, when both parents come home, tired from expanding their influence in the cubicle fiefdom, those pesky annoyances known as kids have too much energy.  I mean, can't they just learn to take care of themselves?  If not, doesn't the government owe me something?  No?  Oh well, I'll just pay to get them declared ADHD so I can not worry about it and shame on you for thinking less of my children who are disabled!  Please, just stop talking about them, my show is about to start...

All of these ADHD indicators are addressable, however.  Much of the issues are more emotional or due to the child being over-stimulated and under guided.  I remember in college seeing other parents that were near the brink of despair because their toddlers were up past midnight - leaving no time for spouse time or sleep.  Contrast this to strict bedtimes that my wife and I grew up with and enforce in our home - we have time to spend together or have "me time" when needed.

This coupled with regular family meals that are not in front of the TV and no phones utilized during it - our kids must play outside before they can play their electronic devices and so on, these are the tactics parents have employed for generations without issue.  I guess we are just too cool for traditions like these as a society, however.  Success was for yesterday - anarchy and feminism is the way forward!