An interesting push in the past several years for so-called "standardized" testing and bench-marking of child performance has some disturbing attributes to me as a father. It all seems to revolve around having each child end up the same as all the rest - which is incoherent at best.
Child Standard 1.1M (male child with average IQ) vs Child Standard 2.0F (female child with high IQ)
First off, anyone with more than one child will tell you that there is no "standard" for learning - every child is unique in how he develops from infancy to childhood to adulthood. This is expected given the concept of a soul - a simple concept that science cannot reason away.
But, there seems to always be the emotionally inept calls from so-called do-gooder's, "but how do I know if my child is advancing well enough?" Really? Last I checked, using other people as a measurement of self is a bad concept. The greater question is: does your child understand how to read, write and the other basic communications requirements to enable him to interact with the community at large? Then, does he possess the ability to reason and quantify the principles he is exposed to?
Anything beyond that, he will learn as he develops and explores the world - try to force something else on him and he will suffer through it until it is no longer required and frankly forget it. Don't believe me, ask any adult what they remember from chemistry, physics or even the difference of "there, their, and they're".
We really over-think this education thing when it comes to our children - the ability to regurgitate facts does not make them capable. The more rules and regulations we train them to as a child, the more they will expect it as adults. Which, leads to a complicit generation not as capable in individual thought.
Standards or Control Metrics?
So why have the standards? Yes, the emotionally inept parent seeking external validation of their offspring will always cling to societal set standards and will always produce viable worker bees. They will cling to archaic class systems, where the state or society will provide them a checklist of requirements to consider them-self fulfilled and successful. Clearly, I have no intent in reaching such people.
For the few that desire to make something of them-self or inspire their children to do so, the question must be asked: what is the point of federal standards then? Could it be to close the gap between education and the workplace? Sure, you know, we led the world in education back in the 1960's, identified an issue in the 1980's and now have some of the highest unemployed college graduate statistics in the history of the US. Add to that, the same issue for under-employed. About 1 in 4 graduates that are either unemployed or under-employed.
The drop in our educational capacities as a nation is estimated to have costed us over $1 Trillion in GDP.
So again, why the standards? Standards have been reviewed and bolstered for decades and the performance of our educational construct has continually declined. Truth be told, I don't have an answer here, but I am certain that more standards and more tests will not end this slog into failure.
Yup, Parenting
Regardless, it has been clearly proven that the solution for our children's success is not found within the "community" or the state - it is within the most basic social structure: the family. Time and time again, it has been proven that positive, parental involvement has the most singular influence on a child's development. It is irrelevant if the child is in public, private, charter or home school.
Of course, this is a problem to those that believe in the class system and care more about unification as opposed to celebrating the diversity of God's children. Ever since Plato, there have been fraudulent and supposed "intelligent" people that claim societal ills can be resolved with the abolition of the family unit. Well, that is not totally true, they have compromised to just mediating the parental actions by the state...
I think the terrifying truth is this: there are those that are so emotionally incapable of allowing someone to fail due to their own poor choices, that they will bring down an entire society to try and save the one already lost. I don't think there is some demonic conspiracy to remove traditional families and the values associated with it - but I do think there are plenty of people who are incapable of accepting consequence.
If you look at all the philosophers and public figures that claim the family is the source of inequality - they are all trying to solve the issue of suffering. As well intentioned as they may be, they could not be more wrong and morally off-base.
By the very studies they cite, they should find ways to promote and sustain the family as opposed to remove it. It is clearly a positive force in society as children from stable, traditional homes outperform other children in every category. It is a race to the bottom - they wish to remove the very source of the populace that can sustain society.
It does NOT take a community
No, it does not take a community to raise a child. It takes two dedicated parents and our Savior, Jesus Christ. No more, no less. Yes, others can help and assist, and yes, they often do - but no, their help is not required. The sacred mantel of a parent is the closest we can come to understand God in this life - beginning with the miracle of bridging the spiritual realm with this broken world in the sacred act of creating life.
Then begins the true commitment of guiding the newly created life through the perils of life - duty that never ends and there is no greater source of joy. Contrast that with this:
“When an opponent declares, ‘I will not come over to your side,’ [Hitler] said in a speech on November 6, 1933, “I calmly say, ‘Your child belongs to us already. . . . What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community.’” And on May 1, 1937, [Hitler] declared, “This new Reich will give its youth to no one, but will itself take youth and give to youth its own education and its own upbringing.” William Shirer, Rise and Fall of the Third Reich New York: Simon and Schuster, 1960), 249.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Just Medicate Already!
We decided to homeschool when I was still in the Marine Corps. It was a common and logical conclusion for military people that move a lot and can't always control when the Marine in the family has time off. I saw many that had block leave during the week of finals, for example.
Since then, with the advent of Common Core and anti-religion in schools, we are happy to keep our decision. Recently, however, I have come to appreciate another reason: medication. We have very high spirited kids - our daughter is currently in a phase of pretending to be animals (fossa to raccoon to who knows what next) and our son can't even sit still during a movie, he has to act it out as he watches it. He's gotten better - mainly due to my wife and I no longer finding it amusing - but it is still there.
They are both very active and physical in their approaches to learning and experiencing the world around them. As frustrating as it can be (especially for their teacher, my wife), there is nothing wrong with it. Both are learning well and are very curious about the mysteries life has ahead of them.
I have overheard parents discussing their concerns about their kids and it scares me. "My son can't focus on his homework, I think he might have an attention disorder or something." The kid is 4 years old! Why does he even have homework? It's preposterous! Or, "our kids have too much energy in the house, we need to get them on some meds to calm them down." I always ask even though I know the answer, how much time do they spend outside? The answer: never.
So, let me get this strait, you have a child that is bounding with energy and curiosity and you think there is something wrong with the kid because they have too much energy even though you never have them run outside to burn it off? And it is the kid's fault?
Then look at our schools post the abomination of "No Child Left Behind" - we have longer kindergarten hours, fewer recesses, and less hands-on work. Schools are dumping arts & music (lessons that require a physical interaction with learning) and replacing them with more books and tests.
Of course - that is a great solution for kids that just want to run around and play! More time inside! And, if the kid has a problem adjusting, just shoot him up with meds (him, as boys are at least twice as likely to be diagnosed as girls). Just another zombie earning tax credits for the school and staying out of mom and dad's way as they pursue their dreams! Mission accomplished.
We are getting to a point where individual selfishness from parents and schools are now leading to a terrifying epidemic that has increased 40% over just a matter of a couple of years. In case you have lived in a time capsule for the past couple of decades, I'm talking about ADHD.
I looked up the actual diagnostics for it on the CDC site, here are some laughable quotes:
"Deciding if a child has ADHD is a several step process. There is no single test to diagnose ADHD, and many other problems".
In other words, no definitive test. Or said again, it really depends on the opinion of the guy writing prescriptions because there is no way to prove him right or wrong. But hey, it will shut the parents & teacher up and pad his bottom line, so why not? The kid could use some downers anyway...
Here are some of the actual indicators that begin in ages of 3 - 6:
Now, I am making my career as a consultant. Companies pay us to do things for them as we are faster / better / cheaper than what they are at areas outside of their main business. Sometimes, our clients have concerns - that is where I work.
Most times I find that expectations have not been accurately managed. It is like when you go see a movie that had great advertisements but actually sucked. You are even angrier as you feel you were cheated. If you had known what the movie actually was like, you may still have watched it - maybe even enjoyed it, but the difference would be in what you had expected it to be.
Now, we look today at family life. We live in the world of me, myself and I. Add this to the fact that kids are inconvenient. If there was anything I wish upcoming parents knew, it would be that. They require sacrifice, they require you to alter plans and miss out on some things in life. And no, they won't appreciate it until they are much older, if ever (many of my family and friends - including myself - didn't until we became parents).
Sounds like a miss-match in expectations from the "me generation" more than anything else. As we ask government to dictate what success is (standardized tests) and tell people that you can and should have it all: both ways, all the time - what could go wrong? I mean, mom's can work better at men (per failed feminist logic) so why not have both parents out finding new toys they can finance on their expansive incomes?
Then, when both parents come home, tired from expanding their influence in the cubicle fiefdom, those pesky annoyances known as kids have too much energy. I mean, can't they just learn to take care of themselves? If not, doesn't the government owe me something? No? Oh well, I'll just pay to get them declared ADHD so I can not worry about it and shame on you for thinking less of my children who are disabled! Please, just stop talking about them, my show is about to start...
All of these ADHD indicators are addressable, however. Much of the issues are more emotional or due to the child being over-stimulated and under guided. I remember in college seeing other parents that were near the brink of despair because their toddlers were up past midnight - leaving no time for spouse time or sleep. Contrast this to strict bedtimes that my wife and I grew up with and enforce in our home - we have time to spend together or have "me time" when needed.
This coupled with regular family meals that are not in front of the TV and no phones utilized during it - our kids must play outside before they can play their electronic devices and so on, these are the tactics parents have employed for generations without issue. I guess we are just too cool for traditions like these as a society, however. Success was for yesterday - anarchy and feminism is the way forward!
Since then, with the advent of Common Core and anti-religion in schools, we are happy to keep our decision. Recently, however, I have come to appreciate another reason: medication. We have very high spirited kids - our daughter is currently in a phase of pretending to be animals (fossa to raccoon to who knows what next) and our son can't even sit still during a movie, he has to act it out as he watches it. He's gotten better - mainly due to my wife and I no longer finding it amusing - but it is still there.
They are both very active and physical in their approaches to learning and experiencing the world around them. As frustrating as it can be (especially for their teacher, my wife), there is nothing wrong with it. Both are learning well and are very curious about the mysteries life has ahead of them.
I have overheard parents discussing their concerns about their kids and it scares me. "My son can't focus on his homework, I think he might have an attention disorder or something." The kid is 4 years old! Why does he even have homework? It's preposterous! Or, "our kids have too much energy in the house, we need to get them on some meds to calm them down." I always ask even though I know the answer, how much time do they spend outside? The answer: never.
So, let me get this strait, you have a child that is bounding with energy and curiosity and you think there is something wrong with the kid because they have too much energy even though you never have them run outside to burn it off? And it is the kid's fault?
Then look at our schools post the abomination of "No Child Left Behind" - we have longer kindergarten hours, fewer recesses, and less hands-on work. Schools are dumping arts & music (lessons that require a physical interaction with learning) and replacing them with more books and tests.
Of course - that is a great solution for kids that just want to run around and play! More time inside! And, if the kid has a problem adjusting, just shoot him up with meds (him, as boys are at least twice as likely to be diagnosed as girls). Just another zombie earning tax credits for the school and staying out of mom and dad's way as they pursue their dreams! Mission accomplished.
We are getting to a point where individual selfishness from parents and schools are now leading to a terrifying epidemic that has increased 40% over just a matter of a couple of years. In case you have lived in a time capsule for the past couple of decades, I'm talking about ADHD.
I looked up the actual diagnostics for it on the CDC site, here are some laughable quotes:
"Deciding if a child has ADHD is a several step process. There is no single test to diagnose ADHD, and many other problems".
In other words, no definitive test. Or said again, it really depends on the opinion of the guy writing prescriptions because there is no way to prove him right or wrong. But hey, it will shut the parents & teacher up and pad his bottom line, so why not? The kid could use some downers anyway...
Here are some of the actual indicators that begin in ages of 3 - 6:
- Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
- Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
- Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
- Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (loses focus, gets sidetracked).
- Often has trouble organizing activities.
- Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
- Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
- Is often easily distracted.
- Is often forgetful in daily activities.
Now, I am making my career as a consultant. Companies pay us to do things for them as we are faster / better / cheaper than what they are at areas outside of their main business. Sometimes, our clients have concerns - that is where I work.
Most times I find that expectations have not been accurately managed. It is like when you go see a movie that had great advertisements but actually sucked. You are even angrier as you feel you were cheated. If you had known what the movie actually was like, you may still have watched it - maybe even enjoyed it, but the difference would be in what you had expected it to be.
Now, we look today at family life. We live in the world of me, myself and I. Add this to the fact that kids are inconvenient. If there was anything I wish upcoming parents knew, it would be that. They require sacrifice, they require you to alter plans and miss out on some things in life. And no, they won't appreciate it until they are much older, if ever (many of my family and friends - including myself - didn't until we became parents).
Sounds like a miss-match in expectations from the "me generation" more than anything else. As we ask government to dictate what success is (standardized tests) and tell people that you can and should have it all: both ways, all the time - what could go wrong? I mean, mom's can work better at men (per failed feminist logic) so why not have both parents out finding new toys they can finance on their expansive incomes?
Then, when both parents come home, tired from expanding their influence in the cubicle fiefdom, those pesky annoyances known as kids have too much energy. I mean, can't they just learn to take care of themselves? If not, doesn't the government owe me something? No? Oh well, I'll just pay to get them declared ADHD so I can not worry about it and shame on you for thinking less of my children who are disabled! Please, just stop talking about them, my show is about to start...
All of these ADHD indicators are addressable, however. Much of the issues are more emotional or due to the child being over-stimulated and under guided. I remember in college seeing other parents that were near the brink of despair because their toddlers were up past midnight - leaving no time for spouse time or sleep. Contrast this to strict bedtimes that my wife and I grew up with and enforce in our home - we have time to spend together or have "me time" when needed.
This coupled with regular family meals that are not in front of the TV and no phones utilized during it - our kids must play outside before they can play their electronic devices and so on, these are the tactics parents have employed for generations without issue. I guess we are just too cool for traditions like these as a society, however. Success was for yesterday - anarchy and feminism is the way forward!
Monday, February 8, 2016
It's not about you!
Sometimes on my commute I think about where my life is, where I thought I would be and where it seems I am heading. Where I thought I would be is dependent on the time in my life you reference, but mainly, I had planned on being an officer in the Marine Corps. Preferably in a spec ops or combat unit - making my way to a battalion commander. I longed the burden of leadership, the stress and everything that goes with it. I miss that most from the Marine Corps, being accountable for my Marines.
Now, I work in a cubicle, usually repeating the same explanations over and over, only the audience changes. I find it hard to consistently exercise, enjoy the outdoors and several other things that have been pillars of my daily tenants for years. When I get a bonus, most of it either pays for an outstanding payment or is squirreled away in anticipation of one.
But I don't care. I am happy and most days when I think about it, I find myself praising God for His wisdom in guiding me to this path. I am grateful He did not guide me to what I wanted and instead, to what I needed.
Today at work, a woman came back from work after her 6 months of maternity leave. She has had 3 kids back to back and has only worked maybe half a year in the past 3 or 4 as a result of this (my company does a phenomenal job in caring for its employees). I saw her crying as she spoke with some sitter that she has outsourced her parental duties to. Someone else saw her and in an attempt to ease her pain, joked lightly with her about choosing to return. Her response, "well having kids is hard too". It was a despondent answer from a woman that is not happy.
I think about when I first met her, she had presented at my orientation. There were about 8 guys in the room, she came in and stated in open disgust that this was a very non-diverse group. As if we, the people hired by the company, had a choice in that. As we got to know each other, it turned out we represented quite a few different walks of life. All of us were very unique individuals, but her obtuse definition of diversity led her to view us as clones of each other only because of our sexual organs.
A few weeks later, I overheard her and another woman gossiping like high school girls about who was having an affair with who in the office. It was clear that both of them wanted one themselves.
Fast forward a few years to now my observation of her misery and I have to laugh. This is a woman that excels per feminism and worldly standards. She has it all - husband, kids and career. Yet, she drudges around the office, pining over other men and crying about her misery. She has everything her feminist ideals have programmed her to have - yet she is devoid of joy.
On the other side, the only thing I have that I wanted as a child is a family. Everything else is different, and I find myself more at peace in my life than I have ever been.
My wife and I made some key decisions a few years ago that explain this difference. We were at a rough spot in our marriage - both angry at each other and the kids for selfish reasons. It was tearing us apart. One day, when we were tired of arguing and fighting, we realized that we weren't putting our family first. We were trying to live as if we were single adults still with two separate life plans ahead. Naturally, that caused friction.
We began the long road of forgiveness and decided to choose each other. I hear parents complain about their kids and spouse all the time. It is almost a cultural expectation, embedded into comedy and every form of entertainment. Why? I mean, we chose to live with each other - we chose to have kids.
I think the issue is in our expectations. We feel that the law of supply and demand does not apply in our personal lives for some reason. No resource is limitless, however, so there must be compromise. My time is limited as is my wife's. What's even more limited, is our time with the children in our home. Already, this year marks half of that time for our oldest.
Sure, I can complain about not having my childhood dream job, or not having the 1.5 - 2 hours a day I want to workout. But, last week I helped my son play Super Mario Brothers on the Wii. I built a castle with my daughter on Minecraft and helped her get some "cute" animals for her to care for. The weekend before that, I took my son camping in 20 degree weather where it was just the two of us. While he was at Cub Scouts, my daughter and I played games in the house ruled only by the limits of her imagination.
Both of our kids ask us to do things with them - do we always want to? No, but usually my wife and I go along with it and end up loving it. This is a life of sacrifice and service - we are serving our children and each other.
It isn't about us as individuals - it is about our family. But, as with country economics, if you spend your limited resources on items of value, your return will be justified and desirable. By choosing to spend what we do have (in monies, time and energy) on our family instead of ourselves, we find the returns far outweigh the cost.
I think this is the secret that God is teaching us - the true purpose of this life is to learn how to spend our gift wisely. Death is the cost of our life, it is up to us to make it worth the price. We need to forget ourselves and serve those around us - beginning with family.
Monday, February 1, 2016
Why do feminists hate women?
I don't know if I will ever forget the first time I was exposed to a true-blue feminist. It was in college, BYU-I. You know, the Mormon college where the underground crowd drinks alcohol in measured doses and it is almost a sin to vote democrat (for the record, I'm not either Republican or Democrat, I think they are both screwed up).
I don't remember her name and I only vaguely recall what she looked like. She married one of my best friends, however. We had looked at being business partners, we shared common interests of the outdoors and life's goals. I was even his best man at their wedding.
Shortly after they were wed, we were having dinner at our house. By this point in time, I had resolved to commission in the Marine Corps after graduating and she asked my opinion on women in combat. It was and still is that they do not belong there. Truthfully, no one belongs there, but if someone has to be there, it ought to be men.
Instantly, we went from a casual meeting amongst friends to her shrieking at me while informing me that I was a chauvinist pig. My friend, her husband, seemed embarrassed and he got her to settle down. Were it not for my respect of him, I would have discharged them both from my home without any regard to their emotions. The evening ended awkwardly and I never saw my friend again - I guess she didn't approve of me...
My wife ran into her a few days later and she accused my wife of being brainwashed and a victim of patriarchal abuse because my wife shared(s) my opinion on women in combat.
True, it would be obtuse to use one anecdotal example to color an entire movement. But, it has been almost a decade later and I have never met a feminist that has challenged my first impression. Instead, they reinforce it. Now, I know that the modern feminist are largely becoming a joke and there are many articles regarding how they hate men. Something I have noticed in the past couple of years, however, is that they really hate women.
Self Image & Esteem
Look at their favorite spokes(people?) like Beyonce. She makes a living by writhing around on a stage like a prostitute for fame and money. Where do you think young women get their issues with self acceptance and modesty? From the defamed "religious right" or people that are so narcissistic that they will sell their body to make money and gain control? Oh wait, I meant to say work on their strengths and grow their talents to perform on stage...
But this is the issue, my daughter will always be my pretty princess - yet somehow I am a chauvinist for labeling her as such and damaging her. I don't get it, I truly don't. My wife and I will have to reassure our daughter in the coming years that she is beautiful and that her modesty and self respect (talking chastity here...) are signs of a self-assured, daughter of God while these feminists attack that foundation.
They will tell my daughter that she is not pretty enough because she doesn't dress and act like the Beyonce's of the world. They will tell her that I rule her life by preventing her from living a life of sexual promiscuity. They will tell her to turn on my wife and me due to our support of an "archaic patriarchal" order. How is this a good and positive message?
Why can't they let my daughter be?
Goose, meet gander
Also, consider the question of women in combat. First off, most women don't want to be in combat roles. Yes, you will find the few with daddy issues that blare Beyonce and want to prove how powerful they are by beating up a bunch of guys, but for the normal gal - not so much. What are the implications if they win this legal fight? Equality? Doubt it given that women are genetically different than men. What will happen, however, is that they will reach a legal equality that comes with severe implications for all women in the US: the draft.
You see, along with this twisted male thought process comes a protection for the daughters in America in that they do not qualify for the draft. This is not due to the benevolence of the government, oh no, it is due to them not qualifying to be in every billet in the military. So, because a few shrieking banshees want this so-called equality, they will force my daughter to qualify for a draft. I don't want any of my kids to register, but at least right now, my daughter is protected from it.
They do not represent the majority of women in the US, yet their actions will have impacts on every woman in America. Every woman in America could potentially be drafted into the military to serve in any role. That's right, the prom queen - that really scrawny gal that thinks walking between classes is a work out - might have to hump around over a hundred pounds worth of gear.
Yeah, that will show America what a real woman looks like... Oh yeah, every Marine female officer passes a hike more strenuous than what that weak lady did. Go Army??? So yeah, if this whole "Army Strong" concept is hard on women, do you really wanna try the Marine Corps requirements?
Again, why can't they let my daughter be?
Life Aspirations & Values
Then, there is this concept of life aspirations and goals. My wife has been under-valued and belittled by feminists for years. They blame her for their inability to obtain their life goals because she has chosen to be a homemaker. She has been accused of being mentally unstable, incompetent, shallow, and so on because she chose to be a wife and mother first in life.
First off, you have to find it hilarious that a group of catty women proclaiming to advocate the ability for women to choose and fulfill life goals will attack a woman for doing that. If that were truly the case, women would be equal in their choices - whether that was being a homemaker or the powerhouse woman of the 90's that has no family (or memory of the guy that pounded her last night) but is CEO of some company.
Herein lies the problem. This is the most terrifying statement to a feminist: the position they started with could be equal (or greater) than the one they are demanding. Oh my gosh! You mean that women were not under-valued when they were homemakers? Then what is all the fuss over...? So, clearly they can't support my wife - my wife has to be proven as invalid, a failure, or a sell out. Otherwise, their whole mission and campaign is revealed with what it is - a bunch of discontent women that either can't get a man's attention or were burned by a bad one.
I was at a social dinner with my colleagues a few years ago and there was a staunch feminist there. She is one of 15 or so people in her type of a role - in a company of 260,000 - that is saying something. Her skill set is highly sought after and she probably makes around $500,000 before bonus. Essentially, she is very successful.
While we discussed random topics, motherhood came up. She was the first to chime in and it was very negative. She declared how housewives are a detriment to feminism and an insult to real women who go and make a difference. One of the men there (a gay guy who had adopted two kids with his partner and his partner stayed at home to take care of them) asked her how she managed to raise her children. She dismissed any questions regarding her troublesome offspring.
I remember at one point he made the point that someone has to watch and care for the kids - even if it is a nanny. She simply reiterated herself that housewives are unambitious failures. She sulked in silence after the topic changed, brooding sourly over her wine.
Sadly, we have decades of proof from very successful men that state they wished they had spent more time with the family and friends. They find themselves alone with all those zeroes they spent their life accumulating. Now, as the mindset slowly begins to shift back to family for many working men, women are charging in to re-make the same mistake - but better! You know what, my wife is proud to be a mother. She is doing the one thing that a man can never do. She is embracing herself as a woman and all that is feminine by doing so.
The Answer
So, why can't they leave my wife and daughter alone? Simple, they are well-adjusted ladies. They embrace and celebrate what it means to be feminine - they are everything a feminist cannot be. That is why feminists hate my wife and daughter more than they will ever hate me.
I don't remember her name and I only vaguely recall what she looked like. She married one of my best friends, however. We had looked at being business partners, we shared common interests of the outdoors and life's goals. I was even his best man at their wedding.
Shortly after they were wed, we were having dinner at our house. By this point in time, I had resolved to commission in the Marine Corps after graduating and she asked my opinion on women in combat. It was and still is that they do not belong there. Truthfully, no one belongs there, but if someone has to be there, it ought to be men.
Instantly, we went from a casual meeting amongst friends to her shrieking at me while informing me that I was a chauvinist pig. My friend, her husband, seemed embarrassed and he got her to settle down. Were it not for my respect of him, I would have discharged them both from my home without any regard to their emotions. The evening ended awkwardly and I never saw my friend again - I guess she didn't approve of me...
My wife ran into her a few days later and she accused my wife of being brainwashed and a victim of patriarchal abuse because my wife shared(s) my opinion on women in combat.
True, it would be obtuse to use one anecdotal example to color an entire movement. But, it has been almost a decade later and I have never met a feminist that has challenged my first impression. Instead, they reinforce it. Now, I know that the modern feminist are largely becoming a joke and there are many articles regarding how they hate men. Something I have noticed in the past couple of years, however, is that they really hate women.
Self Image & Esteem
Look at their favorite spokes(people?) like Beyonce. She makes a living by writhing around on a stage like a prostitute for fame and money. Where do you think young women get their issues with self acceptance and modesty? From the defamed "religious right" or people that are so narcissistic that they will sell their body to make money and gain control? Oh wait, I meant to say work on their strengths and grow their talents to perform on stage...
But this is the issue, my daughter will always be my pretty princess - yet somehow I am a chauvinist for labeling her as such and damaging her. I don't get it, I truly don't. My wife and I will have to reassure our daughter in the coming years that she is beautiful and that her modesty and self respect (talking chastity here...) are signs of a self-assured, daughter of God while these feminists attack that foundation.
They will tell my daughter that she is not pretty enough because she doesn't dress and act like the Beyonce's of the world. They will tell her that I rule her life by preventing her from living a life of sexual promiscuity. They will tell her to turn on my wife and me due to our support of an "archaic patriarchal" order. How is this a good and positive message?
Why can't they let my daughter be?
Goose, meet gander
Also, consider the question of women in combat. First off, most women don't want to be in combat roles. Yes, you will find the few with daddy issues that blare Beyonce and want to prove how powerful they are by beating up a bunch of guys, but for the normal gal - not so much. What are the implications if they win this legal fight? Equality? Doubt it given that women are genetically different than men. What will happen, however, is that they will reach a legal equality that comes with severe implications for all women in the US: the draft.
You see, along with this twisted male thought process comes a protection for the daughters in America in that they do not qualify for the draft. This is not due to the benevolence of the government, oh no, it is due to them not qualifying to be in every billet in the military. So, because a few shrieking banshees want this so-called equality, they will force my daughter to qualify for a draft. I don't want any of my kids to register, but at least right now, my daughter is protected from it.
They do not represent the majority of women in the US, yet their actions will have impacts on every woman in America. Every woman in America could potentially be drafted into the military to serve in any role. That's right, the prom queen - that really scrawny gal that thinks walking between classes is a work out - might have to hump around over a hundred pounds worth of gear.
Yeah, that will show America what a real woman looks like... Oh yeah, every Marine female officer passes a hike more strenuous than what that weak lady did. Go Army??? So yeah, if this whole "Army Strong" concept is hard on women, do you really wanna try the Marine Corps requirements?
Again, why can't they let my daughter be?
Life Aspirations & Values
Then, there is this concept of life aspirations and goals. My wife has been under-valued and belittled by feminists for years. They blame her for their inability to obtain their life goals because she has chosen to be a homemaker. She has been accused of being mentally unstable, incompetent, shallow, and so on because she chose to be a wife and mother first in life.
First off, you have to find it hilarious that a group of catty women proclaiming to advocate the ability for women to choose and fulfill life goals will attack a woman for doing that. If that were truly the case, women would be equal in their choices - whether that was being a homemaker or the powerhouse woman of the 90's that has no family (or memory of the guy that pounded her last night) but is CEO of some company.
Herein lies the problem. This is the most terrifying statement to a feminist: the position they started with could be equal (or greater) than the one they are demanding. Oh my gosh! You mean that women were not under-valued when they were homemakers? Then what is all the fuss over...? So, clearly they can't support my wife - my wife has to be proven as invalid, a failure, or a sell out. Otherwise, their whole mission and campaign is revealed with what it is - a bunch of discontent women that either can't get a man's attention or were burned by a bad one.
I was at a social dinner with my colleagues a few years ago and there was a staunch feminist there. She is one of 15 or so people in her type of a role - in a company of 260,000 - that is saying something. Her skill set is highly sought after and she probably makes around $500,000 before bonus. Essentially, she is very successful.
While we discussed random topics, motherhood came up. She was the first to chime in and it was very negative. She declared how housewives are a detriment to feminism and an insult to real women who go and make a difference. One of the men there (a gay guy who had adopted two kids with his partner and his partner stayed at home to take care of them) asked her how she managed to raise her children. She dismissed any questions regarding her troublesome offspring.
I remember at one point he made the point that someone has to watch and care for the kids - even if it is a nanny. She simply reiterated herself that housewives are unambitious failures. She sulked in silence after the topic changed, brooding sourly over her wine.
Sadly, we have decades of proof from very successful men that state they wished they had spent more time with the family and friends. They find themselves alone with all those zeroes they spent their life accumulating. Now, as the mindset slowly begins to shift back to family for many working men, women are charging in to re-make the same mistake - but better! You know what, my wife is proud to be a mother. She is doing the one thing that a man can never do. She is embracing herself as a woman and all that is feminine by doing so.
The Answer
So, why can't they leave my wife and daughter alone? Simple, they are well-adjusted ladies. They embrace and celebrate what it means to be feminine - they are everything a feminist cannot be. That is why feminists hate my wife and daughter more than they will ever hate me.
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