Money & Stewardship

I often hear people proclaim that "money is the root of all evil" and there is quite the sentiment in the American culture now to despise those who have acquired wealth.  It is odd to me, people will flock to listen to a comedian or actor that makes millions upon millions each year to insult a man that has built a company that employs thousands of people and then pays himself a few million each year.  It is non-sensical to say the least. 

It also imposes a degree of discomfort for me as I am unashamedly seeking to become a millionaire in the next 2 decades.  My intent is to become free.  Free to do with my life as I see fit.  Currently, I am enslaved by my mortgage and car payments.  Further more, my employer dictates between 40 and 50 hours of my week - but beyond the hours, my option in where I live, when I travel or how I spend the remaining hours of my days, and so on are controlled. 

I am clearly not unique in this, but that does not mean I am satisfied with it.  My whole life I have watched my parents and those I have associated with trade their time for money - and never have enough to retire.  My generation has no chance of a retirement in the traditional sense.  Pensions are a thing of the past thanks to uncontrolled inflation and regulatory costs such as healthcare.  IRAs are a joke unless you make over 6 figures for 4 or 5 decades and open several IRAs. 

The question must be asked then - if money is the root of all evil, why does everyone trade their most valuable resource (time) for it? 

My wife and I hit several significant markers last year - we celebrated 10 years of marriage and realized that our son had already lived half of the years he will be living with us.  This year, he has fewer years at home than he has lived.  It has jolted me to the core to realize that my children are marching at the steady rate of time out of my home. 

I now consider things such as, how can I maximize my earnings from work - so that my wife and I can retire - but without sacrificing time with my children?  As I notice my son maturing, however, I also consider things such as - what should I encourage him to do so that he will do better than me?

Something I am currently seeking to impress upon my son to become, and what my daughter ought to seek in a husband, is a man unafraid of success.  To have a clear conscious in accomplishments.  I have seen truly impoverished places in this world that are wrenching on the soul - but that does not mean I must live in squander. 

To be even more clear, I can have no influence or impact to alleviate those that suffer if I myself am suffering.  As Christ taught - cleanse the inner vessel first. 

This is where stewardship comes into play.  Money for the sake of money is illogical just as the storage of shovels is.  Why?  Simple, they are both tools - nothing more, nothing less.  But, money for the purpose of establishing security for family and then the ability to influence this world as a force for good - that is stewardship. 

My first duty to my family and society is the same - ensure we are self sufficient.  If we are, then we aid society in that we reduce the demand of support.  If that is all that can be achieved, then stewardship is realized in its infancy. 

Just as a family grows, so must our stewardship.  As the earning power is increased, the dependencies are eradicated until the point more can be supported.  This is where Stewardship is realized - in the expansion of influence. 

It is this I wish to teach my children - work intelligently.  At the beginning of every career, there is an imbalanced trade for money & time.  This is fine if it is for a purpose.  A person cannot start an expert or a leader, these things must be developed with experience.  An employer provides these as part of the compensation, making the lower hourly wage worth it if it builds to something greater. 

A man can still be a steward at the beginning of his career while he is doing the lowly work - he must simply have an understanding how he will increase his independence and one day be able to be truly free from the mindless money for time rat race. 

It will take patience and determination.  It is not easy and there are no shortcuts - but life must be lived with a purpose.  Without purpose, life is not worth the price of death we all pay. 

Agency - is it really Choice?

I find myself going through phases of what I learn and ponder.  Last year, I spent much of it contemplating the concept of "time" from a scriptural stand point.  It was an exciting year of learning - especially for a non-physicist such as myself.  Probably much of what I learned was nothing more than an intro to relativity for those that specialize in such topics.

A few weeks ago, I was reading from the LDS Ensign and found a wonderful article: "With All They Getting, Get Understanding" and it has given me focus on simple things I have previously ignored.  It made me think, with all that I study and review, do I hit pause and look at my basic beliefs?  Truth is, I do not.  I quickly dive into intricate topics, eager to expand my mind - but it has been a while since I have reviewed the foundations of my beliefs. 

For instance - as a Mormon, a very fundamental belief is that we all have "Agency".  If you go anywhere to a LDS service discussing this - you will hear phrases like "free agency is the freedom to choose".  That is certainly supported by the dictionary - but that combination of words is never found in the scriptures. 

With the ease of technology, I was able to search through the use of words in the Scriptures (being Mormon, this means the Bible (Old & New Testament - King James version), The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine & Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price [combination of Joseph Smith's story and a supplement to the books of Moses]).

Usage Review: Choice

In the Scriptures, I found the word "Choice" 48 times.  47 of the uses were the same in that "choice" was the best of options - such as Proverbs 8:10

"Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold."

This usage was not in what a person chooses but rather a reference to the quality of something. 

There was one usage of the word "choice" where it referenced a decision, Acts 15:7, this is where Peter is stating that God decided for the apostles to teach the Gentiles. 

With that in mind, it does not seem God puts much emphasis on the concept of blanket "choice".  The verbiage indicates mainly that there are things that are "choice" in life in that they ought to drive our decisions accordingly. 

This is consistent with Christ's proclamation that He is the way the truth & the light and that there are no other ways back to Father.  Christ is "Choice" as are His teachings, and therefore they ought drive our decisions accordingly. 

Usage Review: Agent

I found the word "Agent[s]" 22 times in the Scriptures.  There were 2 usages of it - many were in Doctrine & Covenants where Joseph Smith was directing the church's finances and representation to be handled via "agents".  In other words, this is the same usage we have for it now - a person who acts on behalf of another. 

The other times were along these lines from Moses 6:56

"And it is given unto them to know good from evil; wherefore they are agents unto themselves, and I have given unto you another law and commandment."

This is interesting to me, as in 2 Nephi 9:46, it states that we will be forced to exclaim that Christ's judgments are holy:

"Holy, holy are thy judgments, O Lord God Almighty—but I know my guilt; I transgressed thy law, and my transgressions are mine; and the devil hath obtained me, that I am a prey to his awful misery."

It seems that we are to represent ourselves as we will have a "perfect knowledge of all our guilt, and our uncleanness, and our nakedness; and .... have a perfect knowledge of [our] enjoyment, and [our] righteousness, being clothed with purity, yea, even with the robe of righteousness." 2 Nephi 9:14

I get from this that we are to choose what we represent - either good or evil.  There is no buffet from us to choose from, we either emulate Christ or we emulate Satan - but we cannot create something new, we only select which of the two options we wish to represent. 

Usage Review: Agency

This word was rarely used, I only found it 6 times.  I think the easiest way to show the context for its usage is in this verse, D&C 101:78

"That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given unto him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment."

In essence, the agency we have is the ability to select the morals we will adhere to.  Given that we live in a space and time separate from God - we are sufficiently removed from His presence that we can in arrogance deny it.  But again, this provides us only 2 options, to accept God for who and what He is or reject Him and obey Satan.  This is our choice and ours alone - this is our agency.  Satan cannot force us, therefore we must be accountable to ourselves and to God for what we do. 

Summary

I think Joshua said it best in his book, chapter 24 verse 15

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

As Christ felt momentarily alone on the cross, each of us lives in a spiritual death (separation from God) in this life.  This separation, however painful, is necessary to provide us the ability to represent our true selves.  As God told Joseph Smith in D&C 29:36

"And it came to pass that Adam, being tempted of the devil—for, behold, the devil was before Adam, for he rebelled against me, saying, Give me thine honor, which is my power; and also a third part of the hosts of heaven turned he away from me because of their agency"

Many of God's children were sufficiently brazen to reject Christ in the presence of God.  Most of us were not, but this did not necessarily mean that we in fact desired to follow Christ.  Thus, the separation is a crucial part of God's plan (Alma 12:21):

"[T]here was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead."

This period here on Earth is, therefore, an artificial existence where we have the opportunity to be tried & tested.  The basic question is simple - will we accept or reject our King, Jesus Christ?  We can only represent one or the other and that is our choice. 

Resolutions

My wife and I have often set individual and family resolutions each year.  Generally, we have done well in achieving them but I have never personally written them down to hold myself accountable to them.

Last year, I had the goal of shooting a turkey, a boar & a deer.  I wasn't even able to go turkey hunting and the one deer that was shot on my hunting trip wasn't by me and it died somewhere in the forest and we weren't able to find it as we shot it right at sunset.  Of course, it snowed that night so no chance of finding it in the morning either.

So, here is to a year where I write my goals down and hopefully refer to it throughout the year...

I have two goals: I want to become more self-sufficient and more present with my children.

Self Sufficiency 

There are three parts to this as I have two in my professional pursuits and one hobby that I want to learn and develop this year.

• New Project at work 

Clearly I cannot say too much of this, but essentially I am wanting to help bring new business into the company I work for.  Being a consultant that knows how to manage an account is one thing, but to be a truly successful consultant, you have to have the ability to bring in new business.

I followed a prompting last Fall that has opened the door of opportunity that may lead to me being a key role in doing just this.  If this does come to be, clearly it will be a great addition to my resume and proof of ability to perform at the next level at work.  Both of these bring financial benefits that will assist my wife and I with our stability in the home by paying off debt or funding something more we have interest in.

• Investment Firm 

A friend and a brother-in-law of mine have begun discussing opening our own investment firm.  We don't have much to invest, but by investing in apps and over-sea development options, we can start earning enough to eventually be able to invest in companies here in the US.

This month, we are looking at opening the firm and potentially taking on our first investment.

• Blacksmithing

I have resolved to learn how to conduct my own blacksmithing in creating tools.  I want a hunting knife and I cannot find the simple, functional design I want as most knives are built for fashion over function these days, the few that do meet my requirements are over $100.  There are also several things my wife has that are either wearing out or she is making do without them that I can learn how to create.

With this in mind, I built my anvil on January 2nd and hope to have my forge completed in early January.  I have already collected some iron and brass parts to begin working - my first project will be a set of tongs.

Time with my children

Last year I did not go fishing once.  My son loves fishing and often requested it, but with my client work being predominately at night (my client is in Japan & Australia) I never made the time for it.  He is already 9 years old, half way gone from my home.  My daughter turns 8 this year, quickly approaching the same milestone.

I do not know how long I will live or how often I will be able to see them after this next decade is over.  I do not want to repeat this year.  My wife and I take them out for one-on-one dinners each month, but I want to start playing more games with them, going camping as a family - and spending more quality time with them.

We have already resolved to play games after dinner each Sunday night and share daily chores where we work together instead of just watching shows or movies.  I'm sure it won't occur every day, but as long as it is most of the days, I will be satisfied.  

Feeling Vs Reality

My wife and I celebrated our 10th anniversary by going on a cruise to the Caribbean.  It was our first cruise (well, my first cruise not in a rusty Naval ship...) and we really enjoyed it.  The kids enjoyed being spoiled with the grandparents for a week as well, I'm sure we were not even a passing thought.

I enjoyed the quiet times afloat while Manda was reading her books I was able to sit and just think.  I would watch people and think about where I wanted my life to go.  Towards the end of the cruise, I realized something about people and how we set ourselves up for failure.  There were many people that felt an incessant need to be barely clothed - some with maintained bodies but many without.  

Regardless of shape or size, I would see people (of both genders) sitting around / in the pool alone but clearly viewing themselves as "sexy" in that moment.  It got me thinking how odd that is - how can a person truly be "sexy" if they are alone or only among strangers?  That can only occur if the view of sexy is something that is selfish and self-serving - the prideful desire to imagine strangers as objects or for a person to demand others view him or her as sexy.

Sexy is not something that we can declare or demand other's accept - it is something that others may describe a person with.  But sex is more than just the orgasmic connection of a man and a woman, it is a union of intimacy - and exposure of oneself and potentially a life-creating endeavor.

If we view "sexy" and the pleasure associated with it as something pertaining to an individual - then we begin to warp the biological and spiritual purpose of the act of sex.

Biological

As a species, humans require the act of sex to exist.  The very definition and driving genetic / biological differences between men and women are rooted in the concept of the family.  Men are stronger, larger and more athletic - this comes from the requirement to protect and provide for their family / community.  Women are smaller, have wider hips, and can produce milk - all things required for nurturing and raising children.

It has been proven that teenage girls that have multiple partners and regular intercourse are at a higher risk of cancer.  With this in mind, we must ask ourselves - was the body even designed for the ability to have promiscuous sex?

Many will argue that the biological development is irrelevant and that sexuality is a choice - not a thing of genetics.  That argument is so illiterate that it is not worth a response, but what ought to be understood is the risk of such behaviors.  For instance, teenagers are often not able to understand what a relationship looks & feels like as they only view it as the fulfillment of personal desire for sexual pleasure.

This change in how we approach relationships from a biological design to a personal preference view increases risk of abuse and transmission of disease.  For instance, 80% of all HIV cases are with homosexual and bisexual men.  These relationships are not in line with the biological purpose of sexual urges, leaving only selfish desires.

Spiritual

Spiritually, our existence extends beyond our mortal life - this is something common to all religions.  In my belief, our life began even before our life, I believe that each of us are spiritual children of God - our Heavenly Father.

In our life before mortality, He designed a plan that enabled us to come to earth, obtain a body and choose our path.  This was heavily focused on the family unit as our relationships will extend into the next life if we are married in accordance with His guidance.  Families are also crucial as children require a loving support structure as they develop into adulthood.

This requires the balance of both male and female input - the structure and nurture both provide are crucial to all children.  Gender did not begin at birth and it will not end at death.

What we have now

With the advent of these alternate lifestyles and things such as pornography - the pleasure of sex is becoming a thing of self-fulfillment.  It is a deviation in from a biological and a spiritual design of it. Sex can be a very fulfilling and unifying act between a man and a woman - this is part of why couples often have sex after arguing - there is an emotional aspect to it.

This view we have nowadays also perverts how we interact with people, we act as if we are desirable to strangers around us when we should be concerned if our spouse is attracted to us.  This requires a maturity beyond what our culture requires, however.

What could be

If we as a society learned that sexual actions were to be contained between a man and a woman, we would see a decrease in abuse, drug usage, sex trafficking, and unhappy families.  Depressions and suicides would be down - so much of life would be at peace.

All of these negative things in life occur when people begin to reject life for what it really is for what they want in life.  These fantasies and delusions create a divide that is emotionally sharp to the individual when reality closes in.  This creates rage, depression & overall feelings of isolation - all of which lead to drug usage and other destructive behaviors that hurt more than just the individual.

Instead of living in a pretend life, we could live in this life with all of its potential.  We have unlimited options for joy and peace as we unite in the manner God designed for man and woman merged in marriage.  

Egos & Politics - Welcome to Oz!

I have to deviate from my normal musings on my blog to address an irritation of mine that is increasing intensely as the election day draws closer.  I tire of the naivety of people and the persistent need they have to separate their feelings from reality.  Namely, there are two options for president this election cycle: Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.  For some reason, people have decided that the two of them are equivalent.  Not sure how that is possible given Hillary has been a key figure in every scandal within D.C. since Watergate where she was fired for ethics and left the Republican party.

People state that Trump is a Nazi, given that Nazi's were socialists that sought government oversight and control - not sure how that works either.  Maybe they are trying to state that he is a white supremacist because he wants to enforce America's sovereignty and is stating the same things that got Bill Clinton a standing ovation in the 90's.  I don't know, because apparently I am a mindless droid without a conscious given I will be voting for Trump.

If I were to adhere to the accusations levied against my fellow Trump voters (whether directly or indirectly) then I am a racist, homophobic, bigot that hates immigration and everything decent in life.  But hey, I've been told that business people are just greedy and the root of all evil in America anyway, so I guess I'm just being consistent!

If only I had a Heart!

I mean, if I had a heart, I could fall for false quotes made before a man was called as a prophet and can't be verified by anyone other than the man claiming he heard it.  For anyone not a Mormon - I am referring to the alleged quote that if you vote for the lesser of the two evils, you are still voting for evil.  This was allegedly stated by one of our prophets before he became a prophet, which means that even if he had stated it - it isn't doctrine.

The statement ignores the logical fallacy, which if true, indicates that there are always 1 good and 1 evil option in each presidential race.  Naturally, I will go to Hell if I cannot discern between the two and don't abstain from voting when there are two evil options running.  Of course, if I had a heart - I could feel out what to do when there are two good options as well...

Then, regardless of outcome, I could feel gleefully well of myself for surrendering my influence regarding who my leader is!  Oh the happy feelings - if only I had a heart...

If only I had a Brain!

If I had a brain, I could concoct a method of securing the presidential office of a democratic republic without the democratic part!  Oh yeah, that would prove elections are not corrupt or rigged at all!  I mean, if some guy with a classified past, no major endorsements or accomplishments wins with most voters not even knowing who he is - it will prove that the "will of the people" has won, right?

I could also realize that accusations of a public figure, weeks before election and years / decades since they occurred, prove his guilt with no need of due process!  Because America, of course!  I mean, people never accuse public figures with ulterior motives...

Of course, Trump may be guilty.  I would be willing to state he has done some morally bad things in his life.  I would also be willing to say that of everyone.  But, since I don't have a brain, I can't figure out that to constitutionally qualify for the presidency, a person must pass a set of religious & moral exams first - because equality.  Only those that are equal understand this principle, which brainless people such as myself complicate things by stating that not everyone thinks like me!

Naturally, if I had a brain, I could also find a way to reason out how my abstinence from main stream candidates had no impact in the election as well.  I mean, with the super delegates voting for Hillary (15% of her delegates already in the bag) and conspiring to throw the vote to the House (not the one right now, the one that will be in effect next year - so no one knows who will actually be there yet) clearly has no impact!

If only I had Courage! 

Only the truly courageous understand that it is brave to stand with what is popular - per the media.  Because, the non-stop barrage of things Trump does is clearly more news-worthy than what Clinton does.  I don't hear anyone talking about Hillary anymore, all I hear is anti-Trump comments.  There is this overall atmosphere where anyone voting for Trump is committing a heinous crime.  Comments expressing the moral high road of not voting for him imply heavily the moral deficiency of people such as myself that will be voting for him.

The statements I have seen against Trump voters are rather obscene and I won't post the examples that come to mind with that statement on my blog.  Regardless, the mentality of disagreeing with Trump for president is not based on political discussions, no, it is based on the debasement of those that support him.  If only I was courageous, I would understand that going with the flow, taking the easy way of stating "Trump is EVIL!!" is much more brave than voting for the best of the two options presented to me.  Because, actually making a choice between the two options is clearly not as brave hitting the "other" button.

I aspire to teach my children that when you face a dilemma that you should start manufacturing alternatives - regardless of viability - so that you can avoid the pressure of stewardship and accountability.  That way they can be courageous and look back in disdain as to when I was on the wrong side of history!

Behind the Curtain:

Ultimately, there are no great and all powerful wizards that will come and eradicate our life's trials.  Even Christ, our Master and Savior, only offers a way through our trials - He will not remove them from us.  What I tire of, is this endless banter of insulting people for their choice in voting.  It seems we have replaced the rameumptom with a voting booth.

One candidate will not make or break this country - but a country full of fractured families and morals will.  Those that rise to the top as options for leadership are a result of what is valued in the country.  Rather than railing on each other, if what we see is that dire, we ought to extend the hand of fellowship to the opposing side, break bread together and seek to understand.

The healing cannot start, however, until we all wake up and realize that we are in this together.  It is more important that we unite as a people than continue to attack others for disagreeing with us.  

Manly Defined, Faithful

Previously, I posted about how "manly" is achieved with Soberness and by being Resolute.  This is the third and final post about how a man becomes sufficiently "manly" in order to fulfill the three P's (Provide, Preside & Protect).

Much of what men are revered for is their ability to fulfill duty - this is because the central purpose of manhood is to care for others.  A man that does not stretch and grow his ability to care for himself, his family and the others in his life is a man without respect.  The unspoken & unwritten expectation of service is missing and therefore the "man" will always be less than desired.

This is why, even if a man is Sober & Resolute, he must still be Faithful.  He must be true to himself, his family and his God.

Faithful to Self

As with all things in manhood - faithfulness begins with the ability to be true to self.  I was working out with my son the other day and I told him to a certain number of bicycle kicks for our abs set.  He finished in about a quarter of the time it ought to have taken him and so when my 2 minutes of misery were up, I asked him how many he had done.  He claimed to have done the requested number, so I took the opportunity to teach him a life lesson.

By him taking the shortcut in a workout, he would not be graded poorly and I wouldn't be able to prove he had cheated.  He could go through the workout with me pretending to exert himself and there would be no penalty.  No addition of chores, no lectures for poor performance, no denial of play time or any other lever my wife and I pull when the kids don't feel like doing their homework.  I explained to him that what would happen, however, is that he would never develop his body.  He would fail to learn how to subject his body to his will and he would not get stronger.

I asked him if he wanted to be strong like me, which he eagerly answered "yes".  That is when I told him that I didn't cheat in my workouts.  I never took a shortcut, I don't walk - I don't let up.  I push myself until I have either reached the predetermined count or the timer goes off.  I don't care if I puke, get dizzy or feel nauseous - my body is subjected to my will.

He thought about it for a minute and then laid down and finished his bicycle kicks.  For the rest of the workout period, he gave his all and produced a good sweat for the first time.  You could see his self confidence grow as he realized he could do more than what he had done in the past.

After that workout, he has been eager to continue exercising with me.  We'll see how long it continues, but he has achieved a key milestone on his way to manhood - being Faithful to himself.

Too often in life we decide to give ourselves a break because we are tired or we think we earned it.  I don't refute the idea of re-charging to ensure you are ready for the stress, but the concept of earning "breaks" is about the dumbest thing I have heard these metrosexual wannabes pretending to be men teach.  A man's goal should not be rest but accomplishment.  Accomplishment requires work and dedication.  If our inner drive is work hard to rest, then we will start cutting corners in our work.

This is the same for everything we have in life - if my goal is not to love and serve my wife, then selfish desires will rule the moments of stress in our marriage - which is a recipe for failure.

Stress has a great way of revealing what really matters, which is why we must know ourselves in advance of the dire moment.  If we are truly Faithful to self, then the review and inventory of desires and progress will provide accurate insight as to how our progression is coming along.

Faithful to Family

All men have families - even if they are not yet married, they come from one.  Many men build bonds of brotherhood as well - this is seen in the military, fire departments and other dangerous professions.  In the absence of these, there are fraternal organizations and other social areas - essentially, men are a social creature.  We value ourselves based on our ability to contribute to those we include in our lives.

All of these are admirable, but the cornerstone should be the emphasis a man places on his family.  Men ought to be focused on marrying and building their family as this is the crowning aspect of the three P's.  A man is faithful to his family while he is single by having the appropriate focus on preparing to care for one.  This should guide how the man dates, works and secures adequate income.

Once married, a man must be faithful to his wife.  This means he does not joke about her in a negative way - the old "ball & chain" or "the boss" terms reveal friction in what is to be the most dear relationship to a man.  Even if there is friction, a public audience is not appropriate.

This also includes his fidelity in thought.  Seeking fantasies and desires of other women - no matter how famous - is unacceptable behavior.  Many crass and loathsome people justify selfish desires for debauchery with select persons - their "hall pass" if you will - but this is not being faithful to your spouse.  A man must be above this and must not accept such behaviors from his wife.

Being faithful to other people includes setting rules of how they may treat you.  Without such clear communication, a man will develop distaste and irritation towards those in his life.  There will be a silent void filled with animosity that the man creates each time he is treated in a way that is inconsistent with what he desires.  This is why a man must clearly state what is expected from those in his life, cowardly silence in martyring of self is beneath manhood.

A man must also be faithful to his children.  This is achieved by his focus towards them - how does he spend his time and money?  Does he expend his scarce resources in the pursuit of individual interests, or does he devote his resources to those that depend on him?  I see many men with new phones and toys but their children are denied vacation time with them as they "cannot afford it".  I have also seen many kids with fancy toys yet lack the valued mentorship a father provides.

If a man is to be faithful to his family - he must invest all that he has in their betterment.  They must be the focus that drives his actions.

Faithful to God

The root word of Faithful is Faith, so it is an easy step to discuss how Faith in and towards God is the crowning aspect of becoming "manly".  Perhaps what is different by what I mean by this is what being Faithful to my Father means to me.  I do not view faith as some flippant emotion like the new age crap that is sold in many churches these days.  Faith in Christ is not some "self-help" guide, it is the stringent submission of will and action to our Savior and to the Father.

God, our Father, loves us not because we are good but because He is good.  He has given us this sacred opportunity to develop and grow ourselves sufficiently to return to His presence.  Naturally, this is beyond our pathetic abilities, so in His wisdom, He provided us a Savior, Jesus Christ.  Our Savior completed all the will of the Father, fulfilling His demands and became our new law giver.  The price of admission is simple - all that we have to give.

All that we have sounds like much to us in a material culture, but it really isn't that much.  Let us not forget that Christ created all that we have under the direction of the Father - there is nothing physical that They do not already own.  The only thing we truly own, is our birthright.  We are heirs of the God of all, with that comes the ability of free will.  The only thing that is ours, is only ours because of our Father and Savior - and it is the price we must pay: our agency.

To be Faithful to God means to bear his name with dignity.  Not as a mindless zealot shrieking at those that disbelieve or disagree, but as Christ did - with Resolute, Soberness.  We must not be ashamed or embarrassed of the actions required by God.  How insulting is it to parents when the children apologize to their friends over what the parents have demanded?  Now imagine how arrogant it is for us to apologize for what God has told us to do.  It is astounding how common place this is.

I see many yearn for life without rules, they find the disobedience of others to be appealing, much like Lot's wife did.  They reveal their intent with their forbidden desires.  To desire sin is to mock God, to apologize for obedience is to patronize Him.  To not seek His guidance and will is willful rebellion.  All of these are beneath a man of God.

For a man to be truly Faithful, he must study himself for broken desires and seek guidance from the Master in how to dismantle them.  Each day must be a sacrament to God in how the man focuses on his duties - ensuring that his wife and children will find faith in his example.

This is the capstone of being "manly" - a Sober mind, Resolutely engaged in being Faithful to self, family and God.  

Manly Defined, Resolute

This is the second post regarding how men become "manly" enough to achieve the three P's: Provide, Preside & Protect.  The three P's are what men do and I am trying to quantify how men become "manly" enough to achieve them.

In my first post about defining what "manly" is, I outlined how a man is of a sober mind.  It seems to be the most reasonable starting point as a man ought to understand how to connect with others.  That begins with the ability to be reasonable and in control of his faculties.

Once that is achieved, a man can change how others depend on him.  To be clear, it is required for a man to be depended upon - it is what we do.  As we Provide, Preside & Protect, we gather others under our umbrella of influence.  Which means it is not manly to be dependent.  Self sufficiency is an obvious milestone on the route to becoming a man.  As a boy grows into adolescence, his father should encourage him adventuring out and building his own kingdom.

If we are to be honest, that is what we men want - our own kingdom.  We want our claim in land and revenues to ensure our influence is felt and matters.  We want to have something for our wife to nurture.  This is part of being Resolute.

Resolute is to be admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering.  I see 4 aspects in which a man must be Resolute in his life: Body, Emotions, Mind & Spirit.

In Body

The most basic area of our life, the physical capsule by which we experience life.  As broken and frail as it is, our bodies are capable of amazing feats.  Historically, cultures had rites of passage for boys to become men - these varied extremely but all tended to revolve around overcoming pain and being physically capable.

Boys that were not capable of enduring pain were not worthy of manhood, likewise with those that were weak and unhealthy.  This goes back to the fulfillment of the three P's.  Whereas I am glad many of the rites are done away with, they prove the point that all societies have viewed a man as someone who had to be in control of their body.  Why, is the question.

To me, it begins with the concept of trust.  I will not take financial advice from a person with no assets, nor will I take shooting advice from someone who has only played Call of Duty.  A man that is Resolute in how he maintains his body shows that he has at least subverted the most basic common denominator we mortals have.  How can you trust someone to Protect you, to Provide for you or to Preside over you - if he has not done those things for himself?

If a man were to disregard his health and lose control of his body - he surrenders his will to the lowest common denominator of all humanity.  That is not a complimentary statement.

A man needs to be looked up to.  This begins with self control - something that cannot be faked.

With Emotions

Life is full of ups and downs.  I remember a key meeting a few years ago I was in as a consultant.  We hit a critical discussion with our client and our leadership stated that if things didn't change, they would end the deal.  The client was very upset and the meeting ended poorly.  Afterwards, I discussed it with my mentor (she was the one that told the client we would end the deal) and I had one question for her: was this normal?

Inside my head, thoughts were whirling around regarding my future employment but my mentor put me at ease by answering my question with a "yes".  The difference between her and I?  She was accustomed to how these type of deals went as opposed to what I was - a Marine Officer trying to figure out what everyone was saying.  In other words, experience.

Our emotions are this way as well.  I recall watching kids in high school listen to soundtracks and their moods would change from song to song.  I thought it pathetic then and I see no reason to change my mind.  With all that happens in life, a man must be Resolute with his emotions if he is to be dependable.

This will bring a calming presence to his sphere of influence - something that is needed at all points in life.  People make far too many stupid decisions because they are on an emotional high or low, they flippantly bounce from one to the other at a rate that makes the decisions seem almost logical.  I have heard many state "it was worth it!" as justification for a wretched choice.

As children develop and grow, they will have many confusing days and nights where they need a Resolute authority figure to anchor themselves to.  This is for the father.  As we live and experience life, we ought to learn how to be Resolute emotionally.  We must be stable and not allow the hiccups of routine occurrences impact our emotional state.  This will provide the security a man's children need, as does his wife and as those he leads in other aspects of life.

In Mind

Perhaps this is more difficult these days, I'm not sure.  True, we have more knowledge at our fingertips than ever before in the human experience, but we also are more easily distracted.  I watch the neighborhood kids cruise around with one hand on their bike / scooter and the other on their phone.

I have no idea what would be so fascinating for a 10 year old that would require such a constant fixation, but I see it all the time.  Same as when I travel - I once saw someone state we had less than a 5 minute wait at an airport and about half the line sat down and pulled out their phones.  It was eerie as it was all in sync.

Regardless of the source of distraction - it is key for a man to withstand them and be Resolute mentally.  As he does this, he will stay focused and enable the application of his knowledge.  He will understand what is going around him, ensuring that his involvement will be productive.

When it is time to learn and study, he will not cede to slothful or playful behaviors, rather, he will apply his intellect in a way that will ensure his mind will be expanded.

When his children discuss concerns with him, he will be focused on them and only them - gaining their confidence in both his attention as well as his ability to respond in the needed way.

Likewise, whenever he is interacting with someone, he will be Resolute mentally and be there with that person.  This action of becoming a reliable and trusted confidante is crucial to fulfilling the three P's.

In Spirit

I have listed these in an ascending order, beginning with the most base and then working through the more complex facets of how a man ought to be Resolute.  In spirit is the capstone to all of these as after a man has become a Resolute individual, he must be Resolute in his acknowledgement of who he serves.

For me, this is Christ.  I cannot claim Him as my Master unless I first gain control of myself.  If I am an unruly person - either physically, emotionally or mentally - how can I offer devotion to anyone?  I cannot be Resolute in my devotion to my God and King, the Savior of my soul, if I am not first at the helm in my life.

As a man develops this control, he can find that inner peace that comes only from the confirming protection of a Master that has accepted him.  How confident he will become as the Master takes him in and gives him comfort and security with his guidance.

Without service to someone greater, then a man devolves to self worship, twisting the three P's into some cruel perversion of what was intended.  With the service to someone greater, the man is elevated in his ability to perform the three P's and will draw other successful people to him.

The building upon a Sober mind with a Resolute man leads to his ability to be Faithful, which will be the next post.

See the first post: Manly Defined, Sober
See the third post: Manly Defined, Faithful