This is the second post regarding how men become "manly" enough to achieve the three P's: Provide, Preside & Protect. The three P's are what men do and I am trying to quantify how men become "manly" enough to achieve them.
In my first post about defining what "manly" is, I outlined how a man is of a sober mind. It seems to be the most reasonable starting point as a man ought to understand how to connect with others. That begins with the ability to be reasonable and in control of his faculties.
Once that is achieved, a man can change how others depend on him. To be clear, it is required for a man to be depended upon - it is what we do. As we Provide, Preside & Protect, we gather others under our umbrella of influence. Which means it is not manly to be dependent. Self sufficiency is an obvious milestone on the route to becoming a man. As a boy grows into adolescence, his father should encourage him adventuring out and building his own kingdom.
If we are to be honest, that is what we men want - our own kingdom. We want our claim in land and revenues to ensure our influence is felt and matters. We want to have something for our wife to nurture. This is part of being Resolute.
Resolute is to be admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering. I see 4 aspects in which a man must be Resolute in his life: Body, Emotions, Mind & Spirit.
In Body
The most basic area of our life, the physical capsule by which we experience life. As broken and frail as it is, our bodies are capable of amazing feats. Historically, cultures had rites of passage for boys to become men - these varied extremely but all tended to revolve around overcoming pain and being physically capable.
Boys that were not capable of enduring pain were not worthy of manhood, likewise with those that were weak and unhealthy. This goes back to the fulfillment of the three P's. Whereas I am glad many of the rites are done away with, they prove the point that all societies have viewed a man as someone who had to be in control of their body. Why, is the question.
To me, it begins with the concept of trust. I will not take financial advice from a person with no assets, nor will I take shooting advice from someone who has only played Call of Duty. A man that is Resolute in how he maintains his body shows that he has at least subverted the most basic common denominator we mortals have. How can you trust someone to Protect you, to Provide for you or to Preside over you - if he has not done those things for himself?
If a man were to disregard his health and lose control of his body - he surrenders his will to the lowest common denominator of all humanity. That is not a complimentary statement.
A man needs to be looked up to. This begins with self control - something that cannot be faked.
With Emotions
Life is full of ups and downs. I remember a key meeting a few years ago I was in as a consultant. We hit a critical discussion with our client and our leadership stated that if things didn't change, they would end the deal. The client was very upset and the meeting ended poorly. Afterwards, I discussed it with my mentor (she was the one that told the client we would end the deal) and I had one question for her: was this normal?
Inside my head, thoughts were whirling around regarding my future employment but my mentor put me at ease by answering my question with a "yes". The difference between her and I? She was accustomed to how these type of deals went as opposed to what I was - a Marine Officer trying to figure out what everyone was saying. In other words, experience.
Our emotions are this way as well. I recall watching kids in high school listen to soundtracks and their moods would change from song to song. I thought it pathetic then and I see no reason to change my mind. With all that happens in life, a man must be Resolute with his emotions if he is to be dependable.
This will bring a calming presence to his sphere of influence - something that is needed at all points in life. People make far too many stupid decisions because they are on an emotional high or low, they flippantly bounce from one to the other at a rate that makes the decisions seem almost logical. I have heard many state "it was worth it!" as justification for a wretched choice.
As children develop and grow, they will have many confusing days and nights where they need a Resolute authority figure to anchor themselves to. This is for the father. As we live and experience life, we ought to learn how to be Resolute emotionally. We must be stable and not allow the hiccups of routine occurrences impact our emotional state. This will provide the security a man's children need, as does his wife and as those he leads in other aspects of life.
In Mind
Perhaps this is more difficult these days, I'm not sure. True, we have more knowledge at our fingertips than ever before in the human experience, but we also are more easily distracted. I watch the neighborhood kids cruise around with one hand on their bike / scooter and the other on their phone.
I have no idea what would be so fascinating for a 10 year old that would require such a constant fixation, but I see it all the time. Same as when I travel - I once saw someone state we had less than a 5 minute wait at an airport and about half the line sat down and pulled out their phones. It was eerie as it was all in sync.
Regardless of the source of distraction - it is key for a man to withstand them and be Resolute mentally. As he does this, he will stay focused and enable the application of his knowledge. He will understand what is going around him, ensuring that his involvement will be productive.
When it is time to learn and study, he will not cede to slothful or playful behaviors, rather, he will apply his intellect in a way that will ensure his mind will be expanded.
When his children discuss concerns with him, he will be focused on them and only them - gaining their confidence in both his attention as well as his ability to respond in the needed way.
Likewise, whenever he is interacting with someone, he will be Resolute mentally and be there with that person. This action of becoming a reliable and trusted confidante is crucial to fulfilling the three P's.
In Spirit
I have listed these in an ascending order, beginning with the most base and then working through the more complex facets of how a man ought to be Resolute. In spirit is the capstone to all of these as after a man has become a Resolute individual, he must be Resolute in his acknowledgement of who he serves.
For me, this is Christ. I cannot claim Him as my Master unless I first gain control of myself. If I am an unruly person - either physically, emotionally or mentally - how can I offer devotion to anyone? I cannot be Resolute in my devotion to my God and King, the Savior of my soul, if I am not first at the helm in my life.
As a man develops this control, he can find that inner peace that comes only from the confirming protection of a Master that has accepted him. How confident he will become as the Master takes him in and gives him comfort and security with his guidance.
Without service to someone greater, then a man devolves to self worship, twisting the three P's into some cruel perversion of what was intended. With the service to someone greater, the man is elevated in his ability to perform the three P's and will draw other successful people to him.
The building upon a Sober mind with a Resolute man leads to his ability to be Faithful, which will be the next post.
See the first post: Manly Defined, Sober
See the third post: Manly Defined, Faithful
In my first post about defining what "manly" is, I outlined how a man is of a sober mind. It seems to be the most reasonable starting point as a man ought to understand how to connect with others. That begins with the ability to be reasonable and in control of his faculties.
Once that is achieved, a man can change how others depend on him. To be clear, it is required for a man to be depended upon - it is what we do. As we Provide, Preside & Protect, we gather others under our umbrella of influence. Which means it is not manly to be dependent. Self sufficiency is an obvious milestone on the route to becoming a man. As a boy grows into adolescence, his father should encourage him adventuring out and building his own kingdom.
If we are to be honest, that is what we men want - our own kingdom. We want our claim in land and revenues to ensure our influence is felt and matters. We want to have something for our wife to nurture. This is part of being Resolute.
Resolute is to be admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering. I see 4 aspects in which a man must be Resolute in his life: Body, Emotions, Mind & Spirit.
In Body
The most basic area of our life, the physical capsule by which we experience life. As broken and frail as it is, our bodies are capable of amazing feats. Historically, cultures had rites of passage for boys to become men - these varied extremely but all tended to revolve around overcoming pain and being physically capable.
Boys that were not capable of enduring pain were not worthy of manhood, likewise with those that were weak and unhealthy. This goes back to the fulfillment of the three P's. Whereas I am glad many of the rites are done away with, they prove the point that all societies have viewed a man as someone who had to be in control of their body. Why, is the question.
To me, it begins with the concept of trust. I will not take financial advice from a person with no assets, nor will I take shooting advice from someone who has only played Call of Duty. A man that is Resolute in how he maintains his body shows that he has at least subverted the most basic common denominator we mortals have. How can you trust someone to Protect you, to Provide for you or to Preside over you - if he has not done those things for himself?
If a man were to disregard his health and lose control of his body - he surrenders his will to the lowest common denominator of all humanity. That is not a complimentary statement.
A man needs to be looked up to. This begins with self control - something that cannot be faked.
With Emotions
Life is full of ups and downs. I remember a key meeting a few years ago I was in as a consultant. We hit a critical discussion with our client and our leadership stated that if things didn't change, they would end the deal. The client was very upset and the meeting ended poorly. Afterwards, I discussed it with my mentor (she was the one that told the client we would end the deal) and I had one question for her: was this normal?
Inside my head, thoughts were whirling around regarding my future employment but my mentor put me at ease by answering my question with a "yes". The difference between her and I? She was accustomed to how these type of deals went as opposed to what I was - a Marine Officer trying to figure out what everyone was saying. In other words, experience.
Our emotions are this way as well. I recall watching kids in high school listen to soundtracks and their moods would change from song to song. I thought it pathetic then and I see no reason to change my mind. With all that happens in life, a man must be Resolute with his emotions if he is to be dependable.
This will bring a calming presence to his sphere of influence - something that is needed at all points in life. People make far too many stupid decisions because they are on an emotional high or low, they flippantly bounce from one to the other at a rate that makes the decisions seem almost logical. I have heard many state "it was worth it!" as justification for a wretched choice.
As children develop and grow, they will have many confusing days and nights where they need a Resolute authority figure to anchor themselves to. This is for the father. As we live and experience life, we ought to learn how to be Resolute emotionally. We must be stable and not allow the hiccups of routine occurrences impact our emotional state. This will provide the security a man's children need, as does his wife and as those he leads in other aspects of life.
In Mind
Perhaps this is more difficult these days, I'm not sure. True, we have more knowledge at our fingertips than ever before in the human experience, but we also are more easily distracted. I watch the neighborhood kids cruise around with one hand on their bike / scooter and the other on their phone.
I have no idea what would be so fascinating for a 10 year old that would require such a constant fixation, but I see it all the time. Same as when I travel - I once saw someone state we had less than a 5 minute wait at an airport and about half the line sat down and pulled out their phones. It was eerie as it was all in sync.
Regardless of the source of distraction - it is key for a man to withstand them and be Resolute mentally. As he does this, he will stay focused and enable the application of his knowledge. He will understand what is going around him, ensuring that his involvement will be productive.
When it is time to learn and study, he will not cede to slothful or playful behaviors, rather, he will apply his intellect in a way that will ensure his mind will be expanded.
When his children discuss concerns with him, he will be focused on them and only them - gaining their confidence in both his attention as well as his ability to respond in the needed way.
Likewise, whenever he is interacting with someone, he will be Resolute mentally and be there with that person. This action of becoming a reliable and trusted confidante is crucial to fulfilling the three P's.
In Spirit
I have listed these in an ascending order, beginning with the most base and then working through the more complex facets of how a man ought to be Resolute. In spirit is the capstone to all of these as after a man has become a Resolute individual, he must be Resolute in his acknowledgement of who he serves.
For me, this is Christ. I cannot claim Him as my Master unless I first gain control of myself. If I am an unruly person - either physically, emotionally or mentally - how can I offer devotion to anyone? I cannot be Resolute in my devotion to my God and King, the Savior of my soul, if I am not first at the helm in my life.
As a man develops this control, he can find that inner peace that comes only from the confirming protection of a Master that has accepted him. How confident he will become as the Master takes him in and gives him comfort and security with his guidance.
Without service to someone greater, then a man devolves to self worship, twisting the three P's into some cruel perversion of what was intended. With the service to someone greater, the man is elevated in his ability to perform the three P's and will draw other successful people to him.
The building upon a Sober mind with a Resolute man leads to his ability to be Faithful, which will be the next post.
See the first post: Manly Defined, Sober
See the third post: Manly Defined, Faithful
No comments:
Post a Comment