Last year, an apostle guided us to conduct family decisions and planning via "Family Councils". In addition to the humor in it - reference to an "MP-3" player & "poking" on Facebook - it has slowly distilled upon my mind for the past many months.
My wife and I have resolved to apply the guidance in our home and initial results have already verified its usefulness. We have managed to get into a routine of having Family Home Evening (FHE) over the past year or so - this is where one day a week we teach our children aspects of the gospel. We have done this on Sundays given my client work capitalizes my time Monday evenings - the traditional night for it.
Scheduling
A few weeks ago, we expanded our FHE to include councils. We weren't sure what to discuss at first, so we started with scheduling. Manda got the kids their own hanging calendars and everything - they loved it! We sit at the table after dinner and review what is coming up first that week and then any major events coming up in the next month.
A fun result of this is that we are actually starting to plan fun activities when we realize we have a free afternoon or weekend.
Goal Achievement
We then added goal discussions. Each of us have listed our New Year Resolutions and we set weekly goals that we track, review and discuss after scheduling. This has been a great way to show the kids how we can work towards goals. Sometimes we don't achieve it and that is an opportunity to learn and improve. Sometimes the goal was wrong - which is also a chance to learn how to set goals.
As we go through the week, the kids are beginning to learn how to work on their goals. Our son wants to learn electronics - so he works with a kit we got him that has hardware or he spends time on code.org - a great site that teachings the concepts of programming.
Our daughter wants to learn how to make bracelets and knit, so she is working with her separate looms and needles. She finally used an extension to her loom my mother got her late last year and made a new bracelet with small rubber bands. It was too small, so we talked about how to learn how to make it bigger the following week.
The kids certainly didn't know how to plan, but I think as we grow this into a habit, we will be able to instill some sense of discipline and self-motivation that will support them throughout their lives.
Problem Resolution
After the first several counsels, my wife and I discussed how we were tired of our kids either complaining or throwing temper tantrums over chores and school work. In the past - this has resulted in a punishment we inflict upon them with great prejudice, but we are tiring of that approach. Not only is it not very enjoyable as a parent - it clearly is not having the desired impacts.
So, we decided to bring the kids in the conversation and outlined our frustrations with them. They were very timid at first with it, not really sure what to do. We discussed a holistic reward & punishment option and they had some great input. The following Monday, Manda started the school day with a small discussion of what all had to be completed. They came up with their own timelines for school & chores and what the consequences of achieving or missing the timelines.
That day resulted in our son playing the Xbox before dinner - something he has not been able to do for months. Our daughter drug her feet a bit, but she finished her work about 15 minutes behind him - something that had not happened for months either.
We are at the genesis of this, but I have high hopes for the sustained results!
Executive Counsel
My wife and I have had what Elder Ballard referred to as "Executive Counsels" - a fancy way of saying husband and wife reviewing status of the relationship, family and household - for much of our marriage, if not regularly. They began as a necessity given our dire financial situation in college. We started to budget then and they have been a semi-regular meeting since then.
We have stringent goals for our lives - being debt free before our oldest leaves home, visiting each continent as well before he leaves. I take it further with my desire to be a millionaire - but that is by the time I'm 50 so a bit longer of a timeline... All of these require diligent use of funds. Some activities would be great but would take away from the greater goal.
By us meeting more regularly to discuss more than finances, however, we are discussing each child and what we need to do for that child's development. For example, we are discussing how we can improve the spirit in our home with the entertainment we let in and participate with.
Summary
Counsels are truly the way God would have us lead. He taught us with His perfect example in counseling with the Gods before the developed this Earth and The Plan of Salvation. They provide the ability for each member of the counsel to engage stewardship and accountability. All grow together. Such loving guidance, I am grateful for the lesson Elder Ballard taught and I look forward to adding to my list of why I think counsels are great for the family.
My wife and I have resolved to apply the guidance in our home and initial results have already verified its usefulness. We have managed to get into a routine of having Family Home Evening (FHE) over the past year or so - this is where one day a week we teach our children aspects of the gospel. We have done this on Sundays given my client work capitalizes my time Monday evenings - the traditional night for it.
Scheduling
A few weeks ago, we expanded our FHE to include councils. We weren't sure what to discuss at first, so we started with scheduling. Manda got the kids their own hanging calendars and everything - they loved it! We sit at the table after dinner and review what is coming up first that week and then any major events coming up in the next month.
A fun result of this is that we are actually starting to plan fun activities when we realize we have a free afternoon or weekend.
Goal Achievement
We then added goal discussions. Each of us have listed our New Year Resolutions and we set weekly goals that we track, review and discuss after scheduling. This has been a great way to show the kids how we can work towards goals. Sometimes we don't achieve it and that is an opportunity to learn and improve. Sometimes the goal was wrong - which is also a chance to learn how to set goals.
As we go through the week, the kids are beginning to learn how to work on their goals. Our son wants to learn electronics - so he works with a kit we got him that has hardware or he spends time on code.org - a great site that teachings the concepts of programming.
Our daughter wants to learn how to make bracelets and knit, so she is working with her separate looms and needles. She finally used an extension to her loom my mother got her late last year and made a new bracelet with small rubber bands. It was too small, so we talked about how to learn how to make it bigger the following week.
The kids certainly didn't know how to plan, but I think as we grow this into a habit, we will be able to instill some sense of discipline and self-motivation that will support them throughout their lives.
Problem Resolution
After the first several counsels, my wife and I discussed how we were tired of our kids either complaining or throwing temper tantrums over chores and school work. In the past - this has resulted in a punishment we inflict upon them with great prejudice, but we are tiring of that approach. Not only is it not very enjoyable as a parent - it clearly is not having the desired impacts.
So, we decided to bring the kids in the conversation and outlined our frustrations with them. They were very timid at first with it, not really sure what to do. We discussed a holistic reward & punishment option and they had some great input. The following Monday, Manda started the school day with a small discussion of what all had to be completed. They came up with their own timelines for school & chores and what the consequences of achieving or missing the timelines.
That day resulted in our son playing the Xbox before dinner - something he has not been able to do for months. Our daughter drug her feet a bit, but she finished her work about 15 minutes behind him - something that had not happened for months either.
We are at the genesis of this, but I have high hopes for the sustained results!
Executive Counsel
My wife and I have had what Elder Ballard referred to as "Executive Counsels" - a fancy way of saying husband and wife reviewing status of the relationship, family and household - for much of our marriage, if not regularly. They began as a necessity given our dire financial situation in college. We started to budget then and they have been a semi-regular meeting since then.
We have stringent goals for our lives - being debt free before our oldest leaves home, visiting each continent as well before he leaves. I take it further with my desire to be a millionaire - but that is by the time I'm 50 so a bit longer of a timeline... All of these require diligent use of funds. Some activities would be great but would take away from the greater goal.
By us meeting more regularly to discuss more than finances, however, we are discussing each child and what we need to do for that child's development. For example, we are discussing how we can improve the spirit in our home with the entertainment we let in and participate with.
Summary
Counsels are truly the way God would have us lead. He taught us with His perfect example in counseling with the Gods before the developed this Earth and The Plan of Salvation. They provide the ability for each member of the counsel to engage stewardship and accountability. All grow together. Such loving guidance, I am grateful for the lesson Elder Ballard taught and I look forward to adding to my list of why I think counsels are great for the family.
No comments:
Post a Comment