Childish or Coddled?

I read an article the other day where a man explained how his seven year old son had concerns regarding death.  It was a traumatic experience for the man as he viewed his son too young and tender to comprehend the travesty of life.  Although it was a good article regarding how a parent can relate the Plan of Salvation God has for us, I found myself irritated at the naïve view of its author. 

I look at society now and see it is common to marry older, perhaps never and co-habitating with one's parents is not only acceptable but expected!  There is a lot of talk about when a child is "ready" for discussion of adult things - except for sexual promiscuity of course.  We don't expect children to earn places and feel the sting of defeat when they fail.  They are not to be exposed to the reality of how violent this world is or the fact of death.  No, they don't even need to secure a job as it is too difficult for them. 

It is no wonder to me that the rising generation takes so little thought regarding self-sufficiency - they are told since birth to wait until they are older.  This goes against all societal developments - it defies the natural order of things set in place by God.  Teenagers are torn between their natural drive to explore and develop their place in this world and the disappointing treatment they receive from adults that deny them progress. 

This makes them either severely abrasive and prone to even more juvenile decisions or beats them to complacency and they accept that someone in this world has succeeded at their expense and thus they are owed something.

My wife found a great quote some years ago, it goes something like this:

I am not raising my children to be good kids, I am raising them to be good adults.

We have completely lost this view in life.  Every adult my age laments the "good ole days" when they roamed the neighborhood as children, yet they refuse to let their child be denied an award even when the child fails on all metrics.  Or they then decide what is "suitable" for a child and what is not - teaching the child at every turn that he does not have to ever make a choice or be held accountable.  Then, naturally, when the child reaches the age of "man" and still acts as though he need not decide or take accountability for his behaviors - everyone loses their minds. 

Life Expectancy

This made me wonder - what did we expect in times past?  Given that the life expectancy has gone from as young as 22 to the current of around 80 in the past 500 years - it could not have always been this way.

By today's standards, a man at the end of his life expectancy in England during 1558 should still be firmly tied by the apron strings and still avoid "adulting" as much as possible.  This begs to question, how is it possible for society to have subsisted for so long if these ages are so inherently incapable?  Of course, wisdom and temperance is gained with experience - which requires age for us humans, but it does not explain how families were made, children were taught trades, skills and societal expectations with how we treat youth today. 

Family Structure

I know it is common for people to be offended at Mohammed for his marriage to the 6 year old bride, but I wonder how many people realize that this was rather common for the Christian & Jewish cultures as well. 

Juliet in Shakespeare's romance was nearly an old maid and about 13 years old.  Marriages as young as 7 were common - they were to wait to consummate the marriage until after the first menstruation, however. 

With all this in mind, that child this man was concerned about could have been married at his age.  He could have been a father in only 5 or 6 years. 

What about War?

Midshipmen began as young as 8 years old in the British Navy.  Let that sink in for a bit, a child barely in 2nd grade could have been in a position of authority aboard a warship in a time when battles at sea were probably the safest venture the ship entered. 

With the lack of mathematical understandings, ships did not stay aright as they do now; there were no GPS or modern maps to chart by; no weather models to know when a storm would hit; no food chain or understanding how to prevent illnesses such as scurvy; the list goes on and on for the perils they faced. 

Yet, the Royal Navy did this for over a hundred years - rather successfully I might add.  The Royal Navy was a terror to others afloat. 

Summary

I am not advocating we return to such extreme ages for marriage or sexual conduct, but it is important realize the potential of children.  They can comprehend amazing things - they are very adaptable and learn much faster than we adults.  If we take the time to explain things to them, trust that they are budding adults eager and ready to face this world - then I think we will be pleasantly surprised in the results. 

The ultimate age I think we must consider is the age of reasoning God as set - He has informed us that a child is capable of knowing the difference between right & wrong at the age of eight.  That is why we baptize at that age - the child is now accountable for his own decisions. 

I look at my son, who turns 10 this year, and he already does his own laundry; cooks things such as pizza, eggs and soups; and is beginning to learn how to work with electronics and programming.  My daughter is not far behind him in age or in learning. 

Contrast this to the amount of people who have no idea how to cook (the article is in Australia, but for some reason I couldn't find much about cooking in America).  We need to start treating our children like the adults they will become.  This includes entrusting them with duties around the house, allowing them to feel the sting of failure and defeat as well as how to temper the euphoria of success. 

There is no "magical" age where suddenly children are capable of understanding our fallen world - I challenge any adult who claims to understand it fully to be either an idiot or a liar.  Instead of teaching our children to squander their tender years, we ought to have them invest it into their future success and independence.