There are a few moments in my life that I wish I could erase or time travel back and completely do over. Of course, I cannot do that. I can only hope to learn from them and re-focus how I act in the now so that tomorrow I will not be regretting my actions today.
An Example:
One of these poignant moments was when I was a missionary for my church in London, England. It was a Saturday evening downtown, a group of us missionaries had just finished watching a 2 hour instructional session led by our church leadership. There was a group of 6 or 8 of us as we left the chapel, feeling great about how we were in England, serving God's children. We were also enjoying the brief moment of company - usually we were isolated throughout the weeks and would only see the missionary we worked with.
Don't Forget Politics:
Right now, there is a great example of this separation from action and consequence as the action makes someone "feel good" without actually accomplishing anything. Last year I had predicted Bernie Sanders would win (I underestimated how corrupt the DNC & Hillary actually are). To me it was simple, there were too many RNC runners. I think there were 17, which meant that by primaries, the RNC would be fragmented leaving most of the voters jaded. This would allow the DNC candidate to pull ahead.
Sure enough, Trump won the bid and now the country is falling apart over it. The media runs non-stop anti-Trump stories and people by it wholesale. Of course, the pitiful "3rd Party" options are out in force with the "settle for me!" slogans, but there are a couple problems here:
With both of these facts in mind, you have to ask yourself - how will my vote count the most? If you vote for an alternate party, it may or may not impact the voting based on whether or not you are RNC or DNC. The DNC voters won't count when they jump ship. The RNC voters will and they will take electoral votes from Trump, which only helps Clinton.
The risk here is 1 - 3 Supreme Court Justices. But because people don't like Trump as a person, they will vote for someone else. This might make them feel proud of themselves to stand on their moral superiority podium for a bit and defy the heathen Trump, but what the result of this naivety will be is the securing of a Hillary's presidency. Arguably the most corrupt person ever in American politics.
In the Family:
We happily made our way down a crowded street to find a nearby fast food joint to stuff our happy faces with some so-called nourishment. It was in October so was rather cold and there was the usual London drizzle that night. Like most large cities, London's sidewalks were covered in scaffolding as buildings changed owners or time periods they represented. Under one of these ominously dark covers, we walked past a young woman who was wearing a shabby, white night gown.
Her pretty face was masked in anxious isolation as she sat huddled up against the scaffolding beams clutching her legs. She trembled in cold and fear. I paused, looking at her knowing that she was in dire need of help. Her bare feet were bright red, contrasting her fair English skin. When she sensed me looking on, she clenched her legs tighter and averted her eyes to the pavement. What happened next, I wish I could change. I wish I could change it because I failed her, I failed my God, my Savior, and myself. What did I do? I left. I kept walking the hundred yards or so to the warm, bright scene of cheap and filling food.
I had just finished an inspiring meeting, feeling close to God and the Holy Ghost as I served my Savoir but when I found an instance to actually live my religion, I did not. Sure, I promised myself while I was joking with the other missionaries that I would talk to her on the way out, but it was just a thing to make me feel better. Unsurprisingly, she was gone when we left the restaurant later on.
I think about that night and I think about how we as people lie to ourselves with how we make faux offers. President Hinckley, a prophet from my church said it best I think:
"One of the great tragedies we witness almost daily is the tragedy of men of high aim and low achievement. Their motives are noble. Their proclaimed ambition is praiseworthy. Their capacity is great. But their discipline is weak. They succumb to indolence. Appetite robs them of will."
Social Norm Failures:
I often hear people say that because they "tried hard" or that they "meant well" while they explain what went wrong. It seems there is a disconnect with our ability to recognize truth when it comes to failures. For instance, how many kids get trophies at events nowadays? It boils my blood when some sissy hands my son a trophy he didn't earn. "Participation Awards" are such a slap in the face to me.
Is that what we are seeking to reward in society - the fact that someone participated? No expectations of how well they performed, just that they fogged a mirror while there. This is where what we do does not match what we say. We tell people to try their best and then reward them regardless of the result of that best. Imagine any hero - how different would it be if they were not required to overcome something significant in their past?
We celebrate mediocrity in every facet of life now. Consider the stupidity of "extra credit" at schools. I recall in my high school biology course, I could do cross word puzzles for it. Did I do them? Of course! The real question is, did I do the actual work - which the answer is occasionally. I didn't have to do it, I could do cross word puzzles.
Don't Forget Politics:
Right now, there is a great example of this separation from action and consequence as the action makes someone "feel good" without actually accomplishing anything. Last year I had predicted Bernie Sanders would win (I underestimated how corrupt the DNC & Hillary actually are). To me it was simple, there were too many RNC runners. I think there were 17, which meant that by primaries, the RNC would be fragmented leaving most of the voters jaded. This would allow the DNC candidate to pull ahead.
Sure enough, Trump won the bid and now the country is falling apart over it. The media runs non-stop anti-Trump stories and people by it wholesale. Of course, the pitiful "3rd Party" options are out in force with the "settle for me!" slogans, but there are a couple problems here:
- There isn't just one "3rd Party" option - there are 2 that will actually make the ballot (who knows the amount beyond that for write-ins)
- The DNC has super delegates that don't have to vote with what the people choose
With both of these facts in mind, you have to ask yourself - how will my vote count the most? If you vote for an alternate party, it may or may not impact the voting based on whether or not you are RNC or DNC. The DNC voters won't count when they jump ship. The RNC voters will and they will take electoral votes from Trump, which only helps Clinton.
The risk here is 1 - 3 Supreme Court Justices. But because people don't like Trump as a person, they will vote for someone else. This might make them feel proud of themselves to stand on their moral superiority podium for a bit and defy the heathen Trump, but what the result of this naivety will be is the securing of a Hillary's presidency. Arguably the most corrupt person ever in American politics.
In the Family:
A sister-in-law of mine recently posted on Facebook that she had been called an "elitist" because she has secured charter & magnet school spots for many of her children. I chuckle at this, it is elitist, but not in a negative way. It is elite in that parents have diligently selected options to ensure their children will succeed. Much like each military has an elite unit for dire needs - it is their "best foot forward" with them. How is this bad for parents to do this with their children?
I am confident that if I read this in a couple of decades and think about where my nieces and nephews have landed in life, they will have secured successful positions ins life. Why am I confident in this? Simple, this is an excellent example of parents guiding their children to success.
I listen to many parents talk - both in social media and in person - and it is tragic. There are a high amount of parents that want nothing to do with their children. Society now views it successful when both parents work because this means each parent is pursuing individual dreams. You need to take a step back and think about the implications of that to realize how devastating of a reality it is.
Why should anyone in a marriage be pursing a solely "individual" pursuit? As Christ taught, they twain shall be one flesh - meaning that there is a convergence of two lives into one through the divine institution of marriage. This requires sacrifice from both the husband and the wife. So many marriages feel and look like a contractual roommate with sexual benefits. This is not happiness and certainly not the environment to raise a child.
Now, consider the impacts of pursing individual goals with children. Kids don't know the fancy terms of emotional abuse or emotionally unavailable parents or so on - but they know how it feels. They know rather keenly where they fall in a parent's priorities.
By pursuing individual goals, we may accomplish some great things in life - but we will ruin the only amazing thing we own that lives beyond this life. The difference is perspective. It may be fun to have perpetual guy or gal nights, living like you are in college and having lots of fun and games. It may even make you feel good about yourself. It is, however, irresponsible to ignore the impact of the decision. The impact is a lonely bed at night and a single plate at the table for all eternity.
In Conclusion
It is important to always review our actions through the lens of results and impact. If not, we fulfill the age old saying from Saint Bernard of Clairvaux: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
I am confident that if I read this in a couple of decades and think about where my nieces and nephews have landed in life, they will have secured successful positions ins life. Why am I confident in this? Simple, this is an excellent example of parents guiding their children to success.
I listen to many parents talk - both in social media and in person - and it is tragic. There are a high amount of parents that want nothing to do with their children. Society now views it successful when both parents work because this means each parent is pursuing individual dreams. You need to take a step back and think about the implications of that to realize how devastating of a reality it is.
Why should anyone in a marriage be pursing a solely "individual" pursuit? As Christ taught, they twain shall be one flesh - meaning that there is a convergence of two lives into one through the divine institution of marriage. This requires sacrifice from both the husband and the wife. So many marriages feel and look like a contractual roommate with sexual benefits. This is not happiness and certainly not the environment to raise a child.
Now, consider the impacts of pursing individual goals with children. Kids don't know the fancy terms of emotional abuse or emotionally unavailable parents or so on - but they know how it feels. They know rather keenly where they fall in a parent's priorities.
By pursuing individual goals, we may accomplish some great things in life - but we will ruin the only amazing thing we own that lives beyond this life. The difference is perspective. It may be fun to have perpetual guy or gal nights, living like you are in college and having lots of fun and games. It may even make you feel good about yourself. It is, however, irresponsible to ignore the impact of the decision. The impact is a lonely bed at night and a single plate at the table for all eternity.
In Conclusion
It is important to always review our actions through the lens of results and impact. If not, we fulfill the age old saying from Saint Bernard of Clairvaux: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
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