You da Boss!

"We cannot direct the winds, but we can adjust the sails." -Bertha Calloway

I can't help but laugh when I see people compete for the saddest story award.  Even with my competitive nature, I cede that title as quickly as I can.  It almost seems with the cultural Marxist changes we have in America that it is desirable to have the most pitiful life.  It's like a badge of honor to many people.  I cannot wrap my head around it.  I usually do a good job of at least academically understanding another point of view, but this one I cannot.

I'm not sure where it comes from either - is it the "everyone gets a prize" mentality?  Is it the fact that we treat children so lightly anymore that they don't know how to grow up?  Whatever the causes, I'm sure there are more than just one.

There is a concept of tenacity we have lost in our day of modern convenience.  Technology and the safety net of the welfare state have removed many risks from our lives - to the point where consequence has lost its meaning.

What Once Was:

Before the concept of a free people, before transportation and technology were able to connect a nation - countries were ruled by very few in a select group of families.  Their reach was limited, however, to the number of fields they could control.  Starvation was a very real risk, as were illnesses and injuries we have largely done away with.

The royals protected their family with politics - marriages and loyalties were exchanged for the confidence of support from insurrection, invasion or other common issues.

The common folk had no such abilities.  Rather, they relied on the community as a whole.  Their government did not provide for them, they provided for the government.  Instead, the church or later on the fraternal organizations and guilds were relied upon.  As each man joined a group, he imparted some of his earnings to the community that was dispersed to whomever was in need.  Members that did not pay their dues, were expelled from the support community.

A great lesson is learned from the original colonists.  They were a religious community, intent on being equal in all things.  As such, they adopted communal farming, which nearly lost the colony to starvation.  People no longer worked as much.  The colonies switched to private land and the people thrived.

The actual thing that changed was the accountability.  People had to take charge of their own fate and were only helped after they first helped themselves.  Given the harsh living conditions, a lazy beggar could not be tolerated.  Consider the synergy of that - everyone working to take care of themselves, removing the need and demand for public support.  The only cases that would remain would be the families struck by illness or accident.

What Is Now:

Now, our budget is heavily weighed with welfare type requirements.  See the chart below.

When you add up: Welfare; Health Care; Transportation; & Pensions - you have 53% of the budget.  More than half is consumed by expenses where the government is providing something for the people.

And to be clear, the government does this by taking from people who have it and give it to the people who do not.

Look below at the misguided reality that is feminism - these were right next to each other in a site devoted to making sure women are protected equally.  The first one, makes sense to discuss, but the second one?  The fact that it is even a discussion point shows how dependent we have become in our society.  That, coupled with the fact that it is prioritized at the same level as strangulation, is another disturbing fact.

This obsessive need to be cared for is childish to the extreme.  It is rampant in our society, everywhere from the view of "living wage", the "right to loans with below market risk rates", grades for effort vice performance and so on.  Instead of a synergistic push as a society for self sufficiency, there is a race to dependency.  The winner, of course, is the most victimized.

What Could Be:

But what could be?  We see people that are written off all the time, here are some examples of what the indomitable human spirit can achieve when this public opinion is ignored:

• Man runs after ignoring doctor's advice 
• Medal of Honor recipient that was medically discharged from the Army, he refused it and ended up going back to Vietnam where he then earned the Medal of Honor.  (first few minutes are President Reagan presenting his award, at minutes 9:14 - 12:14 he describes how the Army medically discharged him and he stayed in)
• Children in India teach themselves computer science without teachers

Imagine - how amazing this life would be if we stood on the developments of those before us and sought to better everything in our lives.  There would be no mystery or puzzle beyond our ability to solve, our genetics that are rooted in God would shine and overpower our frail, mortal frames.

It is interesting how we as people always seem to gravitate to someone who will tell us what to do.  I'm not certain if it is something trained in school or if we do it in school because it is natural to us.  It is true, God is not only our Father but also our King.  But, He is a King we do not have to worry about what we are told to do.  We do have to worry about what other people tell us to do, however.  Behind the guise of "helping" us, many seek to enslave us in apathy.  We must learn to push back on this - to embrace our responsibility regarding our life's choices.

There is freedom in this, once we accept that we are accountable for our own choices and thereby their success and failure - we are free to succeed.  If we remit our personal stewardship to circumstance or other people, we acknowledge that we are enslaved by such.  How sad it is that we teach this so broadly in a vain attempt to help children feel better about failure.  We teach them to relinquish freedom for a momentary and pathetic reprieve from the pangs of not being enough.  Wouldn't it be better if we taught the children to overcome this with determination?

Value vs Feeling

There are a few moments in my life that I wish I could erase or time travel back and completely do over.  Of course, I cannot do that.  I can only hope to learn from them and re-focus how I act in the now so that tomorrow I will not be regretting my actions today.

An Example:

One of these poignant moments was when I was a missionary for my church in London, England.  It was a Saturday evening downtown, a group of us missionaries had just finished watching a 2 hour instructional session led by our church leadership.  There was a group of 6 or 8 of us as we left the chapel, feeling great about how we were in England, serving God's children.  We were also enjoying the brief moment of company - usually we were isolated throughout the weeks and would only see the missionary we worked with.

We happily made our way down a crowded street to find a nearby fast food joint to stuff our happy faces with some so-called nourishment.  It was in October so was rather cold and there was the usual London drizzle that night.  Like most large cities, London's sidewalks were covered in scaffolding as buildings changed owners or time periods they represented.  Under one of these ominously dark covers, we walked past a young woman who was wearing a shabby, white night gown.  

Her pretty face was masked in anxious isolation as she sat huddled up against the scaffolding beams clutching her legs.  She trembled in cold and fear.  I paused, looking at her knowing that she was in dire need of help.  Her bare feet were bright red, contrasting her fair English skin.  When she sensed me looking on, she clenched her legs tighter and averted her eyes to the pavement.  What happened next, I wish I could change.  I wish I could change it because I failed her, I failed my God, my Savior, and myself.  What did I do?  I left.  I kept walking the hundred yards or so to the warm, bright scene of cheap and filling food.  

I had just finished an inspiring meeting, feeling close to God and the Holy Ghost as I served my Savoir but when I found an instance to actually live my religion, I did not.  Sure, I promised myself while I was joking with the other missionaries that I would talk to her on the way out, but it was just a thing to make me feel better.  Unsurprisingly, she was gone when we left the restaurant later on.  

I think about that night and I think about how we as people lie to ourselves with how we make faux offers.  President Hinckley, a prophet from my church said it best I think:

"One of the great tragedies we witness almost daily is the tragedy of men of high aim and low achievement. Their motives are noble. Their proclaimed ambition is praiseworthy. Their capacity is great. But their discipline is weak. They succumb to indolence. Appetite robs them of will."

Social Norm Failures:

I often hear people say that because they "tried hard" or that they "meant well" while they explain what went wrong.  It seems there is a disconnect with our ability to recognize truth when it comes to failures.  For instance, how many kids get trophies at events nowadays?  It boils my blood when some sissy hands my son a trophy he didn't earn.  "Participation Awards" are such a slap in the face to me. 

Is that what we are seeking to reward in society - the fact that someone participated?  No expectations of how well they performed, just that they fogged a mirror while there.  This is where what we do does not match what we say.  We tell people to try their best and then reward them regardless of the result of that best.  Imagine any hero - how different would it be if they were not required to overcome something significant in their past?  

We celebrate mediocrity in every facet of life now.  Consider the stupidity of "extra credit" at schools.  I recall in my high school biology course, I could do cross word puzzles for it.  Did I do them?  Of course!  The real question is, did I do the actual work - which the answer is occasionally.  I didn't have to do it, I could do cross word puzzles.  

Don't Forget Politics:

Right now, there is a great example of this separation from action and consequence as the action makes someone "feel good" without actually accomplishing anything.  Last year I had predicted Bernie Sanders would win (I underestimated how corrupt the DNC & Hillary actually are).  To me it was simple, there were too many RNC runners.  I think there were 17, which meant that by primaries, the RNC would be fragmented leaving most of the voters jaded.  This would allow the DNC candidate to pull ahead.

Sure enough, Trump won the bid and now the country is falling apart over it.  The media runs non-stop anti-Trump stories and people by it wholesale.  Of course, the pitiful "3rd Party" options are out in force with the "settle for me!" slogans, but there are a couple problems here:

• There isn't just one "3rd Party" option - there are 2 that will actually make the ballot (who knows the amount beyond that for write-ins)
• The DNC has super delegates that don't have to vote with what the people choose

With both of these facts in mind, you have to ask yourself - how will my vote count the most?  If you vote for an alternate party, it may or may not impact the voting based on whether or not you are RNC or DNC.  The DNC voters won't count when they jump ship.  The RNC voters will and they will take electoral votes from Trump, which only helps Clinton.

The risk here is 1 - 3 Supreme Court Justices.  But because people don't like Trump as a person, they will vote for someone else.  This might make them feel proud of themselves to stand on their moral superiority podium for a bit and defy the heathen Trump, but what the result of this naivety will be is the securing of a Hillary's presidency.  Arguably the most corrupt person ever in American politics.  

In the Family:

A sister-in-law of mine recently posted on Facebook that she had been called an "elitist" because she has secured charter & magnet school spots for many of her children.  I chuckle at this, it is elitist, but not in a negative way.  It is elite in that parents have diligently selected options to ensure their children will succeed.  Much like each military has an elite unit for dire needs - it is their "best foot forward" with them.  How is this bad for parents to do this with their children?

I am confident that if I read this in a couple of decades and think about where my nieces and nephews have landed in life, they will have secured successful positions ins life.  Why am I confident in this?  Simple, this is an excellent example of parents guiding their children to success.

I listen to many parents talk - both in social media and in person - and it is tragic.  There are a high amount of parents that want nothing to do with their children.  Society now views it successful when both parents work because this means each parent is pursuing individual dreams.  You need to take a step back and think about the implications of that to realize how devastating of a reality it is.

Why should anyone in a marriage be pursing a solely "individual" pursuit?  As Christ taught, they twain shall be one flesh - meaning that there is a convergence of two lives into one through the divine institution of marriage.  This requires sacrifice from both the husband and the wife.  So many marriages feel and look like a contractual roommate with sexual benefits.  This is not happiness and certainly not the environment to raise a child.

Now, consider the impacts of pursing individual goals with children.  Kids don't know the fancy terms of emotional abuse or emotionally unavailable parents or so on - but they know how it feels.  They know rather keenly where they fall in a parent's priorities.

By pursuing individual goals, we may accomplish some great things in life - but we will ruin the only amazing thing we own that lives beyond this life.  The difference is perspective.  It may be fun to have perpetual guy or gal nights, living like you are in college and having lots of fun and games.  It may even make you feel good about yourself.  It is, however, irresponsible to ignore the impact of the decision.  The impact is a lonely bed at night and a single plate at the table for all eternity.

In Conclusion

It is important to always review our actions through the lens of results and impact.  If not, we fulfill the age old saying from Saint Bernard of Clairvaux: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

My Bubble!

I run into this concept all the time and I find it very juvenile of people.  Essentially, each person has a set of lenses through which they see the world - these lenses can come from divine sources, such as the Spirit of Christ, which I believe we are all born with and commonly call a conscious.  Other influences are the religion we adhere to, our family, friends, societal expectations and so on.

The culmination of these lenses build our "paradigm".  In other words, the way that we are predisposed to see the world.  We have a set of axioms that are a part of who we are and are almost incapable of challenging them until we meet someone of a different paradigm.

Is this Bad?

This is not inherently bad, some of these lenses help facilitate our accomplishments - consider the difference in what an expert analyst and a college intern will see when they are handed the same set of information.

This can also be represented if I were to show my Father and a high schooler a math program.  My Father would probably reach for a pencil and paper whereas the high schooler would probably grab his tablet.  Neither approach is wrong, but it is the learned view in life, older generations relied on gained knowledge to solve problems whereas younger generations are more focused on the tools that will solve it.

They can also hinder our abilities, however.  A Captain I trained under in the Marine Corps had a great way of expressing this when he was teaching us to learn how to think of indirect weapon usage as opposed to direct fire weapons.  He taught us that people go to what they know in times of need.  So, if you first learned to count on your toes - you would think in "toes" when you needed to work through a complicated math problem.

In the military, this was presented by people thinking of using their rifle to kill the enemy.  The problem with this is that as a direct fire weapon, the rifle is limited in the ability to have impact on all enemies.  It is, however, incredibly effective at suppressing them to a contained area so that you can then lob indirect fire - either by getting close enough to toss a grenade or leveraging something like mortars - which have a much higher lethality rating.  Most people see movies and shows that teach the usage of rifles and pistols as the leading tool used in combat, this constricts their ability to imagine the usage of all tools available to them in life.  It takes severe training to shift this paradigm and it is something that not all can grasp even then.

Some people are so far ingrained with their paradigms that the only way they can respond to a challenge to it is rage.  We see this with people blindly attacking people who think differently than them in politics or religion.  The emotional dependency on what the defined "reality" for the person is beyond their capacity to process and they turn to carnal reactions of fight or flight.

So, is it bad?  Not always.  I think the issue is when we lack the mental dexterity to accept the fact that there are other views than ours and the fact that our view could be wrong.  We need to be sufficiently self aware so that we can at least accept the possibility of other view points.

Danger Points:

When I was 25, I sat in a room with several hundred, newly minted Marine second lieutenants so that wizened colonel could address us as we commenced some of the most rigorous training most of us would ever go through.  This man was a giant among men, not in his stature, but in his control of himself.  The type of man all men immediately notice as one to listen too.

His opening remarks shattered my world - I have never viewed the world the same.  He told us that from since before we were born, there were men that had been studying and training to find ways to kill us and our way of life.  We had crossed the threshold to stay that tide - we may only be in our 20's but there was no excuse to not have a 3,000 year old mind.  In order to keep our Marines safe, we needed to devote our time in energy to study our enemy's as well as our capabilities.

I think about the people that believe that by being friendly to terrorists they will stop their onslaught - those that think we can reason with them.  They refuse to acknowledge that for a terrorist to negotiate with us is for the terrorist to reject his core beliefs.  This assumes that they have the same value of human life and abhorrence of war we do as well.

There are also dangers closer to home, such as girls that feel it is fine to jog at night, alone with headphones on preventing them from hearing their surroundings - this ignores the fact that there are predators seeking them out.  What about parents not controlling a child's access to the internet?

I can already hear the shrill screams accusing me of "victim blaming" but the truth is, we must accept that there are dangers in life and act accordingly. For instance, if I were to walk into a BLM rally and yell "All Lives Matter!", I would end up in a hospital.  Does this make it acceptable for the shrieking terrorist of the BLM to assault me?  Of course not, but it also doesn't make me any less stupid for doing it.

Many times, because we live in a stable society, we fall for the idiotic idea that we as a people are civilized.  This is ludicrous as it would require the genetic inheritance of moral principles.  All one needs to do is watch what happens in times of chaos to see the truth of what we really are.  Many (if not most) people are only decent because their environment allows it.

Beyond this, how many people have now refuted the existence of evil by denying the fact that there is a right and wrong choice in life.  People are now accused of being bigoted for adhering to traditional religious views as society moves to moral relativity.  Just as there have been mortal men studying to kill us and our way of life since before we were born - there is a force of evil that seeks to crush our happiness and has since before we measured time.

We must accept that not all people desire what is good for humanity.  If we do not, we will lose all progression society has achieved by the lurid call of moral relativity.

So what?

Paradigms have always been around and they always will.  I think the most important thing I can do as a husband and a father is simply seek awareness and support the differing of opinions within my home.

My wife and I discuss politics and moral points often, we do not always agree on them.  I find myself respecting my wife all the more as she is able to refute my views and defend her own.  We have started sharing our simpler opinions with our children so that they can begin making their own choices.  We reinforce that it is okay to have different views, so long as we still treat each other nicely and with respect.

As young as our kids are, I think they are getting it.  I hope they do as compromise will be a significant requirement in our society as the morals degrade further.  We, the religious members of society, will have to cede certain freedoms in order to retain our core beliefs and freedoms.  But this all begins with the acceptance of the fact that not all view the world as we do.  Patient tolerance must be learned by both sides if we as a society is to support differing cultures.

If we can learn to do this, we can learn to accept difference in paradigms and rise above our carnal instinct to destroy and avoid that which is different.  I don't know what all the future holds, but I hope my children will be able to function in society - freely as children of God and Christ without fear of repercussion.  This cannot happen unless my generation preserves the decency of tolerance framed in our Constitution with the First Amendment and also teach them to be accepting of others.  

Talent or Effort?

I have often heard people exclaim that my shooting is a "natural" born talent or when you see someone who is great at music that they are just "born that way".  The whole nature versus nurture is a confusing topic, one that I have seen plenty of emotions in discussions over it.

The most common thing people bring up is music.  All these amazing children that can play instruments better than adults.  Here are some great videos with kids doing amazing things:

3 year old dancing

5 year old Bruce Lee

Every time I see videos like this, I hear the arguments for "nature" ringing through my head - all those people believing in fate.  All I see, though, is a child that has found one way to interact with his parents.  

If you pay attention to each child "prodigy", you will find parents that are very focused in particular area of that child's development.  For instance, when I was in the Marine Corps, I rarely saw my children.  One of the best stress relievers I had was my motorcycle, and I would often take it apart, clean it and put it back together for a long weekend project.  

It was one of my favorite means to relax, my son as a result of this took keen interest in motorcycles, to the point at 4 years old he could explain what a spark plug was and knew how to find it.  He also know where the oil and fuel filters were and what the different type of screwdriver heads were that I used (flat, phillips, & hex).  The store clerks at auto stores were blown away when he would walk up and tell them the exact part we needed, why we needed it and what it did on the bike.  

If you were to ask my son now, however, where or what some of those are - he may not remember.  Since then, I have a much healthier balance in time spent with my children and he can explore many aspects of life as opposed to one hobby of mine.  I'm not sure what I'm implying about parents that have only one way to relate with their children - it would depend on the relationship to determine if it was good or bad.

So what determines our potential in life?

Starting Point

First off, I consider the starting point we are all at.  It is my faith and belief that we are both spiritual and physical.  We have a spirit body, of whom God is the Father, and we have our physical bodies that are created by our earthly parents.  This is why we call God, "Heavenly Father", He is the literal father of our spirits.  Given that we inherit traits from our lineage, we all have the potential of perfection in all things.  This is why Christ taught us to "be perfect", it is an achievable expectation, if not in this life.  

But, we do not live in God's presence, rather, we are here in this broken and fallen world.  Everything from the lack of symmetry of the earth to our inability to have kindness for all people are clear indicators that we live in a time and space that is separate from God.  

This separation is called "The Veil".  I do not know if it is an actual event horizon or if it is something we can actually understand in this life.  What I do know, is that it is real and it ensures we have time to live here on Earth as we decide what we wish to be.  

Part of this imperfection, we inherit imperfect traits from our earthly parents.  From the ability to be sick and die to a lack of holiness - our imperfect physical bodies are far from the perfected frame God and Christ have.    

Genetics

Given that we have a combination of perfected and broken genes, we will always have this argument of nurture vs nature.  Every person is unique in how they experience this broken existence.  An obvious example are handicapped people that are born with defective bodies or brains.  Clearly, no matter how hard they work at goals in life, they will be barred from most of what society takes for granted.  

It then also stands to reason, the people that are incapable of identifying pitches and are thereby tone death, might have a flaw in how their physical and spiritual body combine.  I don't think that these are common, however.  If we state otherwise, we implicate that apathy is an acceptable route due to conditions beyond our control.  It limits our ability to be free to choose if we believe this way.  

Brain Development

We are still greatly ignorant in how the brain functions, but we know that it is elastic and pliable.  At younger ages, it is much more so and as we progress into adulthood, the brain becomes less flexible. Meaning, if you expose a child to a learning point at a younger age, then they will have a natural brain development that supports accelerated learning and comprehension in that space.  It does not mean the child was born with the advantage - it was trained and developed.

This is also crucial to understand why it is harder for adults to gain new expertise, it is still possible, but requires greater patience and diligence.  Two things that are generally lacking in our society and if you believe that you weren't "born with the ability" to do your dream, you give up before you understand your potential.  

Parental Influence

Here is an interesting video of a child that seems pre-disposed at science.  At 14, he created a nuclear reactor.  Here is another one of a teen that has some amazing mechanical skills, he started riding at age 3 and how has built his own prototype bike.  

A common thread in all of these videos is the parental involvement.  The dancing kid does this everyday with his family - especially his mother.  The Bruce Lee kid clearly spends a lot of time acting out Bruce Lee to his parents, it is his channel for attention and playing with them.

The fusion kid had parents that supported his desires that then developed into talents and true capacity.  If you look at the pictures of him at different stages, his parents fueled his interests by purchasing him science equipment his entire childhood.  

The motorcycle kid bonds with his father by making his bike and car.  His father's passion of mechanical work has become his as well.  

All of these kids had parents that supported their desires, and helped launch those desires into reality.  Consider on the flip side, how many parents rarely even play with their kids, or have their kids just watch TV or play games.  Look at how we view kids as "less than" in terms of ability to comprehend life and concepts - we as the adults limit the growth of the next generation.  

Quality Practise

When I took my first course to learn how to ride a motorcycle, I ended up being the top performer in the course.  I was also the only one who had never rode a bike - not even a dirt bike.  The Marine Corps invests a lot of funds into motorcycle training and I took advantage of as many of them as I could.  

After riding about 6 months, I noticed I was actually more competent than many of the bikers I met that had rode for decades.  I even passed a ST1000 with my 650 Yamaha V-Star (for you non-riders out there, I was riding a cruiser built for comfort and beat a sport bike) on a course requiring deep leans in the turns.  

This experience helped me understand that time spent is not necessarily an indicator of improvement.  I heard a podcast the other day from the Art of Manliness on this topic, and there was some great explanations as to why this is.  Essentially, many people do the same thing over and over.  They don't break down each function of what they are trying to improve.  

For instance, with bikes, there was a creepy abandoned development across the road from us that aside from drug deals at night was abandoned.  I would ride my bike on the roads, practicing slow turns, starting and stopping - all with minimal speed.  Anyone that rides knows that cornering is probably the most fun you can have on a bike, but only when you are moving.  Going slow is work and really not that much fun.  But I did that for months, ensuring I could control my bike without the advantage of speed.  

Then, in the courses, I readily took the instructions the teachers had as I didn't have any predisposition against it.  Many of the more "experienced" riders refused to take their tips and therefore did not improve.  They had become complacent and stubborn.  This meant that they just reinforced the same bad habits over and over.  

I also saw people who didn't understand how to train, they would do odd things like try to ride without hands or not lean in turns and so on.  They would target specific improvement points to work on - but they didn't validate their metric and solution.  They understood the concept of having a targeted and purposeful training session, but they missed the boat completely when it came to improvement.  

This means that as we develop ourselves, we need to ensure we have taken the correct advice and work on targeting specific improvement points so that we are not just spending time on our new hobby.  

Summary

All in all, I agree there are some genetic items that have influence on what we may do in this life, but I don't feel they are material enough to discuss.  Most things in life can be achieved with sufficient energy, focus and the ever important aspect of time.  I think we really struggle with that last one in this day and age, but its relevance has not been diminished with the advent of technology.  

Jealousy

I recently saw a photo of some old friends of mine where they had done a long distance bike ride and I felt the immediate pains of spite.  I had to sell my bike about 2 years ago and have been longing to buy one ever since I took the cash.  Riding was certainly one of the better forms of stress relief I have ever had in my life.

When you consider the things that make us miserable in life, I think jealousy is pretty far up there.  I would never actually rank negative attributes (not sure if I would rank positive ones either...) but it envy is truly the antithesis of gratitude - a foundational requirement for a content life.

But why is that?  How does it eat away at our inner peace?  I have been thinking about how jealousy corrodes our happiness and here are the thoughts I have compiled so far.

Lack of Confidence in Self

Life is a summation of our choices.  Each of us are where we are at directly due to our actions so far in our life.  This means, if we envy what others have, we don't feel we made the correct choice at some point in our life.  Either we made the wrong choice or we are not capable of achieving more than what we are at.

When we envy what someone else has, we place their achievements in life above ours - shadowing any reason we have to celebrate personal successes.  How demoralizing is that?  Yes, there are people that have more than us in life, but why does that have to take away from our accomplishments and resulting happiness?

For instance, I watched a sycophant in the Marine Corps during Hurricane Sandy relief efforts stay up virtually all night "planning".  He did so as he was trying to impress our obtuse CO and XO.  It worked, he got an award for his efforts there despite he provided some of the least value.  At the time, I was irritated at him, as were several others in the unit.

If you look at the stupidity of his choices, how can you improve a plan after the orders have been given?  Truth is, you cannot.  Anything he changed would have to be re-instructed after the Marines woke up - which could impact the issuing of gear or the items the Marines had to pack in preparation.  He did all of that and more, wasting everyone's time from the CO on down with re-issuing serialized equipment which also prevented many of his Marines from being able to eat breakfast before embarking on the mission.

When my CO and XO demanded those type of actions from me, I stood my ground and went with common sense - I never received any form of recognition from that unit despite some of the profound accomplishments that had Marine Corps wide impacts.  Not many junior officers write policy that is absorbed directly by the Logistics Command and provided to other units.

My envy for him faded as I realized I would never pay the price he paid to receive that award.  Regardless of how my CO viewed me, I knew what I had done and my Marines respected me for it.  That was why I commissioned, to add value to the Marine Corps and my Marines - personal recognition was not required for it.

To envy that attention seeker implies the declaration of my choices as misguided.  Once I walked through my actions regarding what I could have done to have achieved the short term acknowledgement, I surrendered my desire for his award - the cost was too high for me.  Peace was restored and I continued to go about my duties.

Priorities

Once we ensure we are confident in our actions, we declare our priorities incorrect when we are jealous of what other people have.  I have a colleague that became a senior leader within a matter of years after he left college.  He's probably the youngest person to have ever held the title - no small feat.  I am very ambitious, I crave responsibility and the ability to have influence.  I enjoy the stress of it and the pay doesn't hurt either.

When I realized his success, I talked with him about it briefly - eager to take some advice as I am commonly the youngest / most junior in my meetings.  His response startled me, he sighed and let me know that it was a result of him not taking time for himself.  He didn't really want to discuss it more than that and so we talked about other subjects before we parted ways.

It was a confirming moment for me as I have always tried to keep my family high in my priorities.  There are times when I lose that focus, but overall my family is a key part of my life.  Yes, it would be great to have an achievement like his, but my priorities in life begin with my duties to God and family.  No accomplishment I obtain in life can recompense failure in those areas as those are the only permanent relationships in the eternal view.

This man was clearly envious of other people's balance in life, that should be a clear message in how we ought to approach balance in our life based on our priorities.

Perspective

Finally - if we are jealous of what others have, we miss the purpose of our life here.  We are to learn how to control our carnal desires and choose our Savior above ourselves.  That is the purpose of this life, no more and no less.  A successful life is not contingent upon wealth or public achievements - which means happiness is not contingent upon these things.

When we lose focus and pursue things that are not of value, we find emptiness.  This emptiness can either guide us back to a purpose driven life, or it can push us further into selfish pursuits that, without fail, will result in envy and greed.

The race in life is not with others but rather our past self.  We must trust in the guidance we receive from God and our ability to make good decisions with that guidance if we are to have confidence in this life.  This confidence will not allow room for petty feelings of jealousy - nor will we have the time or interest as we confidently pursue a good life.

In summary - I think jealousy denies us happiness because it declares every decision, desire, and even our view on life, to be misguided.  This is why we must be grateful for what we have regardless of what others have.