No one knows when they will die, but we all know we will. For one reason or another, I have thought a lot about my death in my life so far. I fear it as it is an approaching deadline I do not know if I can fully prepare for. How is it we know that we have sufficiently used the time we have here on Earth?
To answer part of that, I think about how we view this life - it is a part of our eternal existence as the children to our Father in Heaven. Not all things will be accomplished here - they cannot be by design. Therefore, if we are to have confidence in the usage of our time, we must understand how our duties are effected by death.
For a few months, I have been considering the limitations of myself (a fallen, mortal man) and how that impacts my ability to fulfill the duties I have been charged with by God. As a son of His & Christ, a child to my parents, a husband to my wife and father to my children - I have much expected of me.
Child of God & of Christ
As a Child of God & of Christ, I must submit to Christ as my Master and acknowledge God before all other gods (in that He is separate from Christ & the Holy Ghost in the godhead and the first commandment is to put no other gods before Him). I then must obey the commands Christ has given - which I began with baptism. That would be many blogs just on that topic but is easily summarized thankfully through the atonement of Christ.
The atonement allows for progression - for continued improvement as long as we seek it. When we die and enter the Spirit World, we will still be afforded opportunities to grow and become more converted to our Savior - if we so choose. We can also choose to give up, to stagnate our growth, but this is essentially the same for here and the Spirit World.
Child of my parents
Child to my parents - another commandment here to honor them. This is more than just speaking kindly to them, it is also speaking kindly of them. Acknowledging what they have done for me in my life. Even as I have disagreements with them, I must honor the sacrifices they have made, I must support them in their life pursuits and ensure my children know who they are.
This does not change with their death, which thankfully, both of my parents are still alive and well, but one day they will die. It will be for me to ensure their descendants know them and what they did in their life so that they will be connected still.
Death does not remove or surrender my duty to obey my God & honor my parents.
Husband to my wife
As a husband to my wife - I am the provider for her in both monies and the priesthood in our home. I am to support her as she pursues dreams and counsel her and be counseled by her when it comes to the guidance from God. In every way, we are partners.
What if I were to die, however? How can I support my wife? That is in part answered with how we live. My wife and I have chosen to live simply, we do not incur much debt and do not use credit cards. Currently, we have a mortgage and an auto loan - that is all. I have sufficient life insurance that if I were to die, then my wife could be debt free and have enough to cover the transition of her getting back into the workforce. This does give me some comfort, knowing that my family will be supported in such a crisis.
But what about the other aspects? A marriage is so much more than fiscal dependency - it is the blending of two lives. I do not have actual answers for this, only thoughts & impressions - and they are mainly around having an open discussion regarding expectations if one of us dies.
My wife and I both joke that we must die together in bed as old invalids as we do not wish to re-enter the dating game, but that will probably not happen. There is the notion that spouses die within months of each other - I could not find any data around how common that was, however. What I could find was a study from AARP that showed about 40% of women and 13 % of men over 65 are widowed. That is not a small amount of people. Who knows how many if it is under the age of 65.
Moving past the death of a spouse I'm sure is very difficult, one I'm not sure I would handle well. I think having some expectations set and agreed to would help, however. For instance, I would not want my wife to feel guilty for finding a new husband that she could share her life with if it meant her being happy. We are sealed for eternity, I do not know how that will all work out in the life after, but I know it will all work out.
Something I thought of recently as well, was writing letters for her to be opened at key dates - letters explaining my feelings and hopes for her. They will be fun to read together, but if I do die before the date, she will have something tangible to read from me - some means of communicating with me.
Father to my children
As for my children, I am their protector. I protect them from hunger and the elements by providing for their basic needs, I would protect them physically if required and it is for me to protect them from the pains Satan seeks to inflict upon them by ensuring they know how to reach out to God & Christ.
This one I have thought a lot about in the past few months. My children truly love me and seek my support in their life. I am painfully aware of my inability to always be there for them even though I am physically here. I have duties for work that take me away and they have their own lives that they are beginning to develop - which means sometimes I am not immediately there for them when they might wish it. This is a result of being in a fallen and temporal world - I'm not sure how the life after works - but I would like to think that we could be more connected.
I find comfort in knowing that they know how to pray, though. They are never alone, our Father in Heaven is always available to them and ensures they are not alone. Their tender and innocent minds accept this fact so readily, I find myself almost envying them. It gives me confidence that they are learning to have a foundation based on the eternal principles God has given us - this is the greatest thing I can do for them. Money & physical presence are not guaranteed in life, but faith in God ensures the peace needed to live a happy life.
In other words - my death does not change my duty to guide my children to God while I am with them. The only thing I can do to help them, is write letters to them for major dates that are coming up in their life. They would be good regardless if I am there to hand them to the child or not.
In Closing
Overall - I have realized that death has no impact on my duties. It can, however, ensure we keep things in perspective, remind us why it is important to keep a journal and to write things to our loved ones. These things are tangible and can be saved to be re-read in lonely or difficult times. If we truly love our families, we should ensure our impact and support for them lasts as long as we love them.
To answer part of that, I think about how we view this life - it is a part of our eternal existence as the children to our Father in Heaven. Not all things will be accomplished here - they cannot be by design. Therefore, if we are to have confidence in the usage of our time, we must understand how our duties are effected by death.
For a few months, I have been considering the limitations of myself (a fallen, mortal man) and how that impacts my ability to fulfill the duties I have been charged with by God. As a son of His & Christ, a child to my parents, a husband to my wife and father to my children - I have much expected of me.
Child of God & of Christ
As a Child of God & of Christ, I must submit to Christ as my Master and acknowledge God before all other gods (in that He is separate from Christ & the Holy Ghost in the godhead and the first commandment is to put no other gods before Him). I then must obey the commands Christ has given - which I began with baptism. That would be many blogs just on that topic but is easily summarized thankfully through the atonement of Christ.
The atonement allows for progression - for continued improvement as long as we seek it. When we die and enter the Spirit World, we will still be afforded opportunities to grow and become more converted to our Savior - if we so choose. We can also choose to give up, to stagnate our growth, but this is essentially the same for here and the Spirit World.
Child of my parents
Child to my parents - another commandment here to honor them. This is more than just speaking kindly to them, it is also speaking kindly of them. Acknowledging what they have done for me in my life. Even as I have disagreements with them, I must honor the sacrifices they have made, I must support them in their life pursuits and ensure my children know who they are.
This does not change with their death, which thankfully, both of my parents are still alive and well, but one day they will die. It will be for me to ensure their descendants know them and what they did in their life so that they will be connected still.
Death does not remove or surrender my duty to obey my God & honor my parents.
Husband to my wife
As a husband to my wife - I am the provider for her in both monies and the priesthood in our home. I am to support her as she pursues dreams and counsel her and be counseled by her when it comes to the guidance from God. In every way, we are partners.
What if I were to die, however? How can I support my wife? That is in part answered with how we live. My wife and I have chosen to live simply, we do not incur much debt and do not use credit cards. Currently, we have a mortgage and an auto loan - that is all. I have sufficient life insurance that if I were to die, then my wife could be debt free and have enough to cover the transition of her getting back into the workforce. This does give me some comfort, knowing that my family will be supported in such a crisis.
But what about the other aspects? A marriage is so much more than fiscal dependency - it is the blending of two lives. I do not have actual answers for this, only thoughts & impressions - and they are mainly around having an open discussion regarding expectations if one of us dies.
My wife and I both joke that we must die together in bed as old invalids as we do not wish to re-enter the dating game, but that will probably not happen. There is the notion that spouses die within months of each other - I could not find any data around how common that was, however. What I could find was a study from AARP that showed about 40% of women and 13 % of men over 65 are widowed. That is not a small amount of people. Who knows how many if it is under the age of 65.
Moving past the death of a spouse I'm sure is very difficult, one I'm not sure I would handle well. I think having some expectations set and agreed to would help, however. For instance, I would not want my wife to feel guilty for finding a new husband that she could share her life with if it meant her being happy. We are sealed for eternity, I do not know how that will all work out in the life after, but I know it will all work out.
Something I thought of recently as well, was writing letters for her to be opened at key dates - letters explaining my feelings and hopes for her. They will be fun to read together, but if I do die before the date, she will have something tangible to read from me - some means of communicating with me.
Father to my children
As for my children, I am their protector. I protect them from hunger and the elements by providing for their basic needs, I would protect them physically if required and it is for me to protect them from the pains Satan seeks to inflict upon them by ensuring they know how to reach out to God & Christ.
This one I have thought a lot about in the past few months. My children truly love me and seek my support in their life. I am painfully aware of my inability to always be there for them even though I am physically here. I have duties for work that take me away and they have their own lives that they are beginning to develop - which means sometimes I am not immediately there for them when they might wish it. This is a result of being in a fallen and temporal world - I'm not sure how the life after works - but I would like to think that we could be more connected.
I find comfort in knowing that they know how to pray, though. They are never alone, our Father in Heaven is always available to them and ensures they are not alone. Their tender and innocent minds accept this fact so readily, I find myself almost envying them. It gives me confidence that they are learning to have a foundation based on the eternal principles God has given us - this is the greatest thing I can do for them. Money & physical presence are not guaranteed in life, but faith in God ensures the peace needed to live a happy life.
In other words - my death does not change my duty to guide my children to God while I am with them. The only thing I can do to help them, is write letters to them for major dates that are coming up in their life. They would be good regardless if I am there to hand them to the child or not.
In Closing
Overall - I have realized that death has no impact on my duties. It can, however, ensure we keep things in perspective, remind us why it is important to keep a journal and to write things to our loved ones. These things are tangible and can be saved to be re-read in lonely or difficult times. If we truly love our families, we should ensure our impact and support for them lasts as long as we love them.
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